Elliot, the Bike Geek

Hiiiiiii. Hellooooooo.

So, I really should be in North Platte, Nebraska right now... but due to weather and interstate closings all over Nebraska, my dad, sister, brother-in-law, and I are stuck in Omaha (hopefully for just the night...)

SOOOOO, here is my brother-in-law's (Elliot) new blog you all should check out: http://elliotthebikegeek.blogspot.com

NICE. Check it out.

A Christmas Heart... All You Need Is Love.

Christmas is my favorite holiday. Hands down.

I am crazy about the snow, the ridiculous Christmas traditions, and pretending there is still a real Santa out there. I can’t get enough of Christmas music and movies, drinking hot chocolate in front of the fire, ugly sweater parties, and hanging up Christmas lights. Most people think simple things like this are insignificant… and they’re right. They are. But I still enjoy those stupid little insignificant details… as meaningless as they may be.

Even though I like these little dispensable holiday staples, by no means would I define Christmas with or without them.

Christmas is beyond gingerbread houses and candy canes… it’s about LOVE.

I’m sure most people have seen the movie Love Actually. It just so happens to be one of my favorite movies… go figure, right? (Christmas, Hugh Grant, AND love? Triple Whammy!) Well, I think the writers were really catching on to significant holiday meaning when they were forming that script. “Love really is all around…” Saying Christmas is about love is probably one of the most cliché things a person may ever hear… but it’s true.

Christmas is about spending time with and remembering loved ones. It’s about family and friends. For me, my family and friends mean more than I can put into words. My parents, my two older sisters, and my two brothers-in-law are some of the most important people in my life. Sure, we’re a normal family and we bicker and argue, but I don’t think any dispute could ever truly come between us…and for that, I am BLESSED. They have supported me my entire life… even when I make stupid decisions like deciding to go to Creighton to get my art major. They are goofy, make stupid jokes, and sometimes really get on my nerves… but no one can EVER take their place. As for friends, they are all families to me as well. My Creighton family, My Gamma Phi Beta family, my Curtis Family (a special shout out to my “wife” and three daughters), my Encounter Family, my Education Department family, my D-Group family, my Stonebridge family, my NCC family (even though I don’t even GO to that school), my Coram Deo family, my Lake Forest/Lake Bluff family, my Christ Church family, and my LFHS family. I am seriously one of the luckiest girls in the world to have SO many people who care for me and support me. You… reading this… right now… KNOW that you play an IRREPLACEABLE role in my life. Whether we talked today or haven’t talked in years… I love you. You are important and I am sorry I don’t show or tell you that enough. I’m sorry it takes tragedies or holidays for people, especially me, to tell you that, but you are SO loved. Thank you for being in my life and reading my blog. It means more than I can verbally express… **CYBER HUG!**

Okay, as much as I want to just rave on about how great my family and friends are, Christmas is about more than you and I and the love between us… but it’s about Love.

Love in the truest sense of the word. Love beyond simple signs of affection. Love that stretches past the holiday season. Love in true giving. Love that is radiated from the One who IS Love.

Love in absolute, pure sacrifice.

God the Father, Jesus our Savior = Love.

Love saw when man disobeyed Him, and He was saddened. Love saw Sin, and was Just so that His reign would triumph. Love wants a relationship with us, so He sent His Son to earth on that Christmas Day. He was fully aware that His Son, perfect in all ways, would have to die for our Sin, but was willing for this to happen so we could have life. Love wants us to experience what love really means, so He set the table for us. It’s about HIM. It’s about the greatest gift on could EVER be given. By this Christmas gift and the sacrifice that came with it, Love wanted us to learn how unimportant and insignificant our glory is. Love wanted us to Love Him and have a relationship with Him. Love loves love and loves us. (Okay, now I feel like I am just getting confusing).

Like I said… Christmas is all about Love. NOT us.

Many people may love (with a lower case ‘l’) a lot of things… but it is Love (with a capital ‘L’) that has transformed me. It is Love that has forever changed the world… and changes my heart every day. It is Love that LOVES me for exactly who I am. It is Love that makes my heart desire something greater. It is Love that calls for justice, goodness, grace, and mercy all over the world. It is Love that calls us back… to learn and live in Love (agape). It is Love that will one day transform this world that is so absent of love. It is Love that helps me understand what it TRULY means to love… it is where my heart lies.

Am I placing my heart in all these Christmas traditions and the things that may sometimes I feel “define” Christmas or love? Or, am I freely and openly giving my heart to Love because I know the truth about the ultimate Christmas gift and the LOVE that was behind it all along? I hope the latter.

But, not gonna lie, I really hope there is snow and hot chocolate in Heaven…

Thankfulness During a Snowstorm

Snow is an amazing thing. Seriously, it's just beautiful. For me, without snow, the winter months would be intolerable.

Well, a little less than 2 weeks ago, Omaha was DUMPED on. Starting Monday night and all day Tuesday, snow did not cease to fall. It was truly the first sign of REAL winter... and not to mention, got me SUPER pumped for Christmas. Not only did it snow crazy amounts, but Creighton cancelled school Tuesday and Wednesday. It was incredible. I was supposed to have a presentation AND a final... which, as a result of the crazy snowstorm, were rescheduled! N-I-C-E! So, instead of studying or working on my presentation, what did I do? On Tuesday, I just cleaned up my apartment a little and literally stayed in and watched movies all day. That night, I had dinner with a group of people, but otherwise, I just relaxed and de-stressed. It was a much needed lazy day to say the least. On Wednesday, I went sledding with my friends Carolyn and Kate. It wasn't snowing, but the roads were horrendous. Kate has an SUV and we had to, on numerous occasions, get out and dig her out of parking spots/her driveway/the road. [[BIG thanks to the city of Omaha for not knowing how to plow side streets.]] After sledding, we just drank some hot chocolate, watched some tv, and I went back home... to watch more movies and sleep.

As much as I love snow, I started to see the snow as a little bit of a nuisance... especially on Wednesday when we were trying to commute across town for sledding. Carolyn, Kate, and I found ourselves being a little whiney:

"Gosh, it's REALLY cold."

"It takes SO long to get anywhere!"

"No one even knows how to drive in snow"

"Why can't Omaha learn how to manage city streets when it snows?"

After sledding for awhile, Carolyn and I sat at the top of the hill, laid down, and just rested for a minute... we sat back up, we looked around the park a bit, and that's when our eyes really opened. We had just been complaining about the nuisance of snowstorm, but as we looked at the people around us and the snow-covered park, we could not deny the absolute BEAUTY of snow, the JOY of the sledders, and the LOVE radiating between friends and family at that very moment. Everyone at that park was sharing an incredible moment... God's undeniable presence, goodness, and beauty.

We realized how much we tend to gripe and complain about little insignificant things. Okay, yeah, it's cold... get over it. Okay, yeah, snow days slow you down and change the plans you might have had... rearrange. But you know what? Snow days are beautiful. Snow is beautiful. God made snow... and wants us to ENJOY it [DUH, Hence SNOW DAY... no work or school!].

Even when God blatantly hands us gifts and moments like snow days, sledding, enjoying a cup of hot chocolate with good friends, sleeping in, or maybe even getting an extra day to study for a big final, it's so easy for us to move our attention from the positive to the negative. We get really excited about the initial giving of the gift, but our excitement dwindles as pessimism and "realism" take over.

My goal? To start looking for the positive and the good in EVERY moment. I want to look at every situation and see the goodness and beauty of GOD. Times when I'm stuck in traffic? Enjoy and appreciate the song playing on the radio or take the time to pray and just talk with God. Waiting in line at the store? Meet the person behind or in front of you and start a casual conversation. You might find out something about them that you never thought you would.

I just encourage you all to take the time to be thankful for the little things, like snow. Take the time to really look at the beautiful earth. Take the time for yourself. Take time with God. Be thankful for the little "nuisances"... because they can be truly inspirational.

Tears... the Good Ones.

So, I have been having a pretty crappy day. Not only is it finals week, but just little stuff has been setting off my jerkiness and my grumpiness... sorry for those who got a little dose.

Well, I found out from a couple of friends that my friend Ravi wrote a new blog post about me... I normally would be like, "Hey-o! YEAH! I got a freaking shout out! That ROCKS!" But, honestly, today I wasn't so enthused (Hello Mad Cow Disease). I got even more upset when they started telling me how funny it was, but not to be mad, that it was all in good fun. THAT, right there, to me, pointed to something negative... great. The CHERRY on top of an already horrible day.

So, I decided to face it, suck it up, and read the post. Here, for all of you, is the link:

http://rlulla.blogspot.com/

What was my reaction to this newest post? Tears. I literally started to cry... from laughter. Yes, this did happen. Although it was the brutal truth, it was hilarious... and JUST what I needed to help brighten my day.

Sometimes, I get too serious about life. I let bad things effect me way too much. I feel like I am generally pretty good about letting the little, insignificant things go and to not take unimportant things to heart, but I have been failing at that lately. I have been moody and unapproachable. It's on days like today, when I have been letting STUPID stuff rule my mood, when I need good friends, like Ravi. Friends that point out to me how ridiculous I am. Friends that laugh with me. Friends who accept me for me, bad mood or not, awkward or not, clumsy or not.

Thank you, Ravi, for reminding me not to take stupid things too personally. Thanks for that post, because it seriously did brighten my day... even if you were blatantly making fun of me.

The Prodigal God

Exciting news, everyone! So, awhile ago, I think around late summer or early fall, I posted about how my missional community leader, Tyler Zach, wanted to start an all Greek Bible study on Creighton’s campus. WELLLLLLL, we started one. YEP. We did! Tyler, Anna Peterson, Gordon Kor, Carolyn Wanberg, and I started planning together and we had our first meeting before Thanksgiving and last week, we had our second. We have sent out emails to all the different chapters on campus and a few of us went and spoke at a couple as well just so we could familiarize Greeks with the actual existence of this Bible Study/Spiritual Discussion. There hasn’t been an incredible show up either of the times, but we are hoping that next semester will improve… especially with TONS of prayer and a little more PR J

For these past two sessions, we showed a Tim Keller video called, “The Prodigal God”. Next semester, we’ll be having a 6-week discussion series on certain clips of the video.

If you ever have the chance to watch this, PLEASE DO. It really makes you re-think the entire parable of the lost son. Keller has so many amazing insights into this story…

It’s a look at two sons/brothers, a younger and an older.

The younger son essentially wanted nothing to do with his father except for receiving his inheritance. After asking for his inheritance early, of which he did receive, he left his home and spent all of it on prostitutes and in sin. Inheritance back then was a HUGE deal. It was essentially the life of the father and not something that was given away before his death. However, the father gave it to the younger son freely and openly. It was more than just a giving of money and wealth, but it was the father giving the younger son his life. The younger son wanted nothing to do with the father, but wanted everything to do with the father’s things. To get control of his things, the younger son left and was disobedient. However, after spending all of his inheritance, the son came back to the home. The home was a relationship, not just a place. It was coming back to his family, his father. The younger son came back wanting to make up for his disobedience and repay his father. You’d think that the father would have made the younger son feel guilty about his poor decisions, but no, the father ran to his son and embraced him. He called for a robe, a ring, and a feast of the fattened calf for his son. The son who left and disobeyed. The father didn’t asked for the son to repay his debt, but he accepted him with full grace and full forgiveness.

The older son, however, never left and was never disobedient. He stayed with the father, aware that since his brother had left with his share of the inheritance, everything was now his. But, when the younger brother returned, and the father ran to him and offered him riches and a feast of the fattened calf, a feast only meant for the GREATEST of occasions and celebrations since eating meat was only a delicacy, the elder brother was mad and refused to go into the party. He was mad because the father was essentially giving the younger son the older brother’s inheritance by offering the riches that he still had. The younger brother left and squandered all his inheritance… so why should the older brother suffer for it? With this, the older son was trying to gain control over the father’s things by staying and obeying. Even after the father asked, the elder brother refused to go into the party, and the parable ends.

Most of us have heard this SO many times. We learn to look at both the younger and the elder son as important parts of the story. We learn to see the father’s forgiveness. God wants us to identify with one of the sons… but there are some interesting points Keller brought up that I hadn’t thought about before…

We should and can identify with one or both of the brothers/sons. The younger, which delved in sin, and the elder, in righteousness. God’s making a point though… that no matter GOOD (elder) or BAD (younger), both the sons were lost.

For the younger brother, he was trying to gain control of the father’s things (representation of God the Father) through leaving and disobeying. This describes so many of us at some point in life. We feel like we need to escape, to leave, and find our own path away from God. We think we know what’s best and we really just stick around and go to church until we hit a point and say to ourselves, “This isn’t working out, I have a better plan for self-discovery.” These types of individuals are also commonly compared to the tax collectors of the day. The sinners. This is also a mentality I see in most college students today. They want to do what they want. Essentially, by doing this, they are squandering what God gave them. Drinking, sex, drugs, greediness, envy, and so on so forth. It is a destructive path. They take the Fathers’ things and live the life they thought would be greater than the life they had at home, a close an intimate relationship with the Father.

For the elder brother, he was trying to gain control of the father’s things and the father by being good, obeying, and staying. However, he wasn’t doing this to get closer to the father, but rather to get the good things the father offered. His mentality was that of moral conformity… doing good, complying, and trying hard. Some might be wondering, “What’s wrong with that? Shouldn’t we be obedient and doing good?” Well, yes, but we also have to look into WHY we are doing any good at all. Is it to KNOW the FATHER or just to get the good things that come out of knowing the Father? Morality often times becomes simply a means of getting what people want… health, comfort, safety, etc… Jesus becomes a good model and great boss, but to those that have the mentality of the older brother, Jesus is not a Savior. I mean, even looking at Jesus, he didn’t hang out with the righteous people… he hung out with the sinners, the broken people… so why would he want us to be filled with the righteousness like this elder son? Jesus wants new people, not good people.

Tim Keller tells us to repent of both sin and the reasons why we do any good at all. Both goodness and badness separate us and alienate us from God, THE FATHER. It is looking at ourselves in the place of the older and younger sons. Which category do we personally tend to go toward? Wanting to do what we want and straying from God’s path, or living in righteousness so we can receive all of God’s blessings without truly living FOR the Lord DESPITE ourselves.

The parable isn’t just about forgiveness or sin, but it is also a call home. It is a call to recognize that there is actually another son involved in this story.

God, the Father, is calling us home; whether we are the disobedient son that eventually comes home after squandering his wealth and wanting to repay the father for his debt, or whether we are the righteous older son who refuses to come home because he just wants his gifts from the father and to be recognized for his goodness.

God wants us to recognize that the good and the bad are both lost. He wants us to have hope and recognize something is missing in our lives if we have those mentalities. The FATHER initiated love to both of the sons, He wanted them to repent of sin AND righteousness. He also wanted us to recognize the TRUE SON. The REAL older brother.

Back then, if a younger brother left the home or was lost, it was the responsibility of the elder brother to look for him. To put his needs and wants aside to bring the lost son back home. But, in this story, no one searched for the lost son. The older brother didn’t go after him. A TRUE older brother would have went out to find him no matter WHAT it cost him. Coming home was costly… especially to the older brother since that meant it he would be giving up part of his inheritance to welcome him back to the family.

Who is this true elder brother/son? JESUS. This wasn’t a parable to just recognize the two other sons, but so that we could see that there is actually a third son, the most IMPORTANT son. A SON sent by His Father away from home (Heaven). He was sent to bring the younger son (US) back to the Father, back to our TRUE home. But to do this was costly… Jesus, perfect in every way, left the comfort of Heaven, to come to imperfect Earth even though he knew it was going to cost him his LIFE. Jesus, like an older brother, deserved everything the Father gave him, but he was stripped… and did it ALL for US. There was a bad older brother in this story so we could see a GOOD one.

If we follow the true older brother, the real son, we, the lost, will finally be able to go home. God is calling us home… that’s one reason the parable doesn’t end… we are in the midst of this story and are called to be the people he created us to be, while recognizing the FORGIVENESS of the Father, our need to REPENT of both goodness and sin, and the LOVE and COSTLINESS of our older brother’s sacrifice to bring us home.

Death to No Shave November

I made it. 30 days. No shaving of the legs. I think this is the longest I have ever gone without shaving before... even in the wintertime. I mean, you know me, I love dressing up so it's not uncommon for me to bust out a skirt or dress in the middle of winter. Truth. Crazy.

It was driving me NUTS. It's uncomfortable and scratchy. Not to mention, just gross looking. I measured the longest hair I could find on one of my legs just to prove how nasty it was, and it was almost 3/4 of an inch. SICK. Luckily, I have blonde hair so it's not completely manly, but still, it's gross.

I wasn't able to do a midnight shave yesterday, but I did take a study break yesterday to put my leg hair to death. I never knew how much I loved freshly shaven legs until that very moment I climbed into bed and felt cool sheets on my smooth legs. Best feeling in the world. I feel sorry for all you males who don't know what it's like.

Overall, it was a good experience. Would I do it again? YES. Just to have that Dec. 1st feeling once again. TOTALLY worth it.

MySpace and the list of a Few of my Favorite Things...

I used to have a MySpace. Truth. Are you really that surprised?

In junior high and high school, this was the facebook. It was how I kept in contact with my friends, including one of my best friends, Sophie, who lives in England. It was the fad. I haven't been on MySpace in well over a year... the only reason I really kept my account once I went to college was because this was how I found out about new music and new bands. Being the emo, slightly anti-social girl I was, I would spend HOURS just looking up random music and downloading all the free files. NICE. Well, this afternoon, while I was just sitting at home and enjoying my Thanksgiving break and the time away from school, I thought, What the heck? Why not log into my MySpace account? After trying 4 different passwords, I finally logged in successfully. It's pretty funny. I haven't updated anything in almost two years. My 'About Me' section still said I was a Sophomore and all my photos are pretty old. It made me laugh looking through everything... all the hardcore music I obsessed over, my nose ring, and just the other random and pointless information I posted.

Something I did post on MySpace that I found really entertaining was my list of all of my "Favorite Things". I posted hundreds of things that I loved... obviously, I did not have a life... but I remember this list not being all at one time but I would continue to add on it every time I found something I really liked... here is my list if you have the time to read through them:

- Concerts

- Fluffy Snowflakes

- Waking up before my alarm goes off
- Taking pictures of anything, really
- Coming up with a really great composition for a new painting or drawing
- Laughing till my stomach hurts
- Snail Mail
- A really good, new CD and listening to it non-stop for weeks
- Baseball game hotdogs
- tea
- falling asleep in the Terrill's hammock
- Driving around town just for fun
- The smell of fresh flowers
- Romania
- Wandering through art museums
- Singing my heart out, whether it is at church in front of a ton of people or alone in the shower, it doesn't matter, I love to sing
- Surprise parties
- Carving pumpkins
- Playing UNO with Sophie
- Visiting Amanda and Elliot at their apartment in Evanston

- Snapping with the Gamma Phi's
- Finding the perfect item while shopping
- Taking pictures on PhotoBooth with Courtney
- Fabric Softener
- Candles
- Amazing fellowship
- Getting all dressed up
- A really good pair of shoes
- Eating late at night at the Full Moon
- Dance Parties
- Star gazing at LF beach
- Watching the sun rise
- Down Comforters
- Wearing Hats
- Sushi with Jackie and my Dad
- A good run early in the morning (on select days)
- Seeing/Reading about people I know in the newspaper
- Reading the Bible
- Jetskiing and falling off
- Homemade cookies in a care package
- Visiting the Zoo
- Being random and spontaneous
- Watching intense movies (cause I'm "basically a guy")
- Skiing and Snowboarding in Colorado
- The Cavender Family Quote Board
- Talking to my sisters on the phone
- Eating at Walker Bros. with all the girls
- Making fun of Texas
- Walking through a park in the springtime
- The really corny singers/worship leaders at church
- Love Songs
- Shaving Cream Fights at Meredith's House
- Coffee Dates
- Learning more about God every single day
- Being asked for advice and help
- Cheap Chocolate Ice cream (I think the kind that comes in the cardboard box is always better)
- Pretending to be Emo with Emily Wirtz
- IHOP (International House of Prayer)
- Autumn and the changing leaves
- Buffalo Wild Wings and Karaoke
- Beautiful quotes
- Giving Presents and Cards
- Seeing plays and musicals
- Christine's Mother-Daughter Annual Christmas Cookie Party
- Talking to and being in the presence of Jenni Terrill
- Witnessing Marilyn Richards "break it down"
- Rock, Paper, Scissors, SLAP
- Dark Dove Chocolates and those lame sayings in the foil wrapper

- Theme Parties
- Fancy Dinners and Cocktail Parties
- Bowling
- Dodgeball (especially outside when it's muddy)
- The OCHOS
- C.S. Lewis Books
- Making Snow Angels
- Watching/Hearing people play guitar and piano
- Big Sunglasses and Jewelry
- Family Time
- Hugs
- Making my infamous, random mixes
- Picking up Seashells and walking on the beach
- Riding the 4 person bikes at Navy Pier
- Giggling for no reason with Lisa and Tabitha
- Madrigals and Chorus
- DMC's (Deep meaningful conversations)
- Jack Bauer
- Jim Gaffigan Jokes
- Seeing cute, old, married couples still in love
- All of my friends who have loved me and supported me through anything I have gone through
- Crying when you are happy
- Weddings
- Riding the Metra
- The way God has broken my heart
- Feeling the sun on my face
- Apples to Apples
- The Bennett Family and listening to their amazingly hilarious stories
- My Family and everything about them
- Warm clothes that just came out of the dryer
- Shopping for new towels
- Dancing in the rain
- Paintball... even though I get beat so bad
- The Tate Modern
- Journaling
- Quoting Movies with Patrick
- Burt's Bees Lip Balm
- GMa's Thanksgiving Dinners
- Cooking
- Dry Humor
- Watching Creighton Basketball
- I love the 80's and 90's
- Sharing awkward moments with jaK
- Apple Picking
- Taking long walks to Walgreen's with Wirtz
- Laughing about Kelli's crazy cats.
- Visiting Classrooms and just thinking about being a teacher
- Listening to Theological speakers here at CU
- Playing Risk with Cam and Cody
- Post-its
- Dining Hall Chocolate Milk
- Bubble Baths
- Dressing up in 80's wear
- Making T-Shirts
- Bouquets of flowers (especially tulips)
- The feeling of your stomach dropping after going down the big drop of a roller coaster
- Acoustic Music
- Europeon Basilicas and Cathedrals
- The Big smiley face cookies at LFHS... man I miss those.
- Art Studio with Zare
- World Mandate
- Taking pictures in the Old Market with Megan and Courtney
- Mr. Coad's Calc Class
- Juarez, Mexico
- Sokol Underground
- Homemade Breakfast with my Crescent Sister, J Stein
- The first snow of the season
- Mark Rothko paintings
- Worship Music
- Hearing Crazy Courtney Stories
- Chasing squirrels and rabbits around campus... or just watching Dan do this.
- Late night hangouts on the mall
- The smell of fresh cut grass and the air after it rains
- Heat Lightning
- Frosties from Wendy's
- Peace
- Tabitha's "I'm going to kill you" face
- Slip n' Slides
- Learning about the environment
- Mom/Daughter Week
- Cherry Starbursts
- Hoodies
- Watercolor colored pencils
- Picture Frames
- Playing freeze tag out on the KFC lawn in the rain
- Laughing about the past
- The stomach jitters you get when you see someone you really care about or have missed
- Cancelled Classes
- My Gamma Phi Family, The Curtis'
- Snow Days
- Mint Mojito Orbit
- Being my goofy self with the people that truly love me for me
- Being respected and trusted
- Degas and his Ballerinas
- Photo shoots
- The Word Association Game
- Being able to be quiet/silent with someone without awkwardness
- Creamslushes
- God's Grace
- The words "I miss you"
- The way your hair feels, looks, and smells right after you go to the salon
- Driving with the windows down and having the wind blow on your face and through your hair
- Sunshine
- Splashing in puddles
- Tutoring at Jackson Elementary
- Elaborate Architecture
- Interior Decorating
- Watching Makeover shows
- Leonardo DiCaprio
- Hearing really old pop songs from your early teen years and remembering all the words
- Being a geek and reading Harry Potter
- Victoria's Secret Lotion and Perfume
- Stunning landscapes that just scream God's Beauty and Wonder
- The feeling of clean, cool sheets on your legs right after you shave them
- Organizing my planner
- The Cerulean Blue Crayola Crayon
- Making s'mores
- Putting "In Bed" at the end of fortunes (in the fortune cookies... yeah.)
- Talking with with Cameron in his car in the LFC parking lot late at night then being kicked off by campus security
- My piercings
- Blonde Jokes
- Reading Christian Theology and Doctrine
- Playing on Jungle Gyms
- Brand new charcoal
- The sounds of Helicopters over head
- Riding on the Tube with Sophie and seeing famous people
- Multigrain Cheerios with French Vanilla Yogurt
- Hanging out with Carolyn to just talk about life
- Being Seranaded to in my dorm room
- Being a girl... just in general... it's great
- Getting a good grade on a paper/project/test you thought you bombed
- Listening to the rain on my window
- Gamma Phi Beta and everything about it
- The months of May, October, and December
- Telling Gina about the crazy dreams I had the night before
- The feeling of wet sand in between your toes
- Laughing at myself
- Thrifting
- Amanda and Jackie
- Mid/Late 90's Rap... like Coolio
- Cuddling and Spooning
- Sitting in the massage chairs in the student center... well depending on what setting they are on...
- Trusting the Lord and knowing everything is going to be alright
- Talking to Jen and Courtney about saving ourselves for hot, passionate, awkward honeymoon sex and having our conversation being overheard by many in the student center... CRAP
- Amanda's Chicken soft tacos
- Feeling like you are a little kid again... like having sleepovers, pillow fights, and telling ghost stories before you go to bed
- Girl Scout Cookies... mainly the Carmel Delights and Peanutbutter patties
- Hearing Dan play piano
- Manicures and Pedicures
- Washing your face after a really long and stressful day
- Trying new things
- Meeting people that are really confident and self-aware
- Wifebeaters (the clothing item, not the people)
- Creighton
- Freedom
- Saint Augustine and Saint Thomas Aquinas
- My baggy jeans
- Jumping in piles of leaves
- Giants, Wizards, and Elves
- Watching Nick milk a cow (probably one of the funniest things in the world)
- Emo/Indie Boys... like Boris
- Homecooked meals
- Sunrise CCLF Easter Service at the Beach
- Cheetah flats
- Giggling with jaK about absolutley nothing relevant
- Fingerpainting
- Making a build-a-bear
- Super Target... I would totally live here if I could....
- Rootbeer with lemon
- Finding change on the ground
- Drinking Water
- Talking about Philosophy and life
- Genuinely talented individuals
- Scented Markers
- Dressing up in intense softball uniforms with Tabitha
- Searching for Queen Nefertitti's with Tabitha but then never being able to find it, so deciding to act like menopausal women blaring love songs out of the yellow mini mobile till 4... after chowing down on full moon cuisine of course
- Easter egg hunts
- My "Mom Bags"... I could probably fit a small child in them if I wanted to...
- Scrambled eggs made by Sean in Becker
- Reading Cereal Boxes
- Pretending to be trendy
- Finding out about an awesome new band
- Free T-shirts
- Fresh-squeezed juice in the morning
- Take-out Chinese Food
- Looking at all the puppies at Lamb's Farm
- Pen and Ink Drawings
- Eating cookie dough straight from the bowl
- Wrapping presents
- Tabitha's nickname for me = Bah (long story if you really wanna know why...)
- Falling alseep in the really big, suede, circle chair that is in the library
- Tricking telemarketers by speaking french on the phone
- Nathan Young
- The stage when you are so tired, you get loopy and crazy
- Falling asleep on the lawn in the sun
- My blessing bracelet from Allison
- Twirling in flow-y skirts and and dresses
- Eating claussen pickles out of the jar
- Sucking in Helium from balloons (even if it does destroy my brain cells)
- The Numa Numa video (it still makes me laugh really hard)
- Jumping on beds
- Pura Vida Hawaiian Hazelnut coffee
- Chapstick
- Big Sweatshirts
- Cuddling up in my bed on a rainy day
- Flinstone Vitamins
- Halls Fruit Breezers Throat Drops
- Intimacy with the Almighty
- Reminiscing nasty trends from the 90's... like roll on glitter from bath and body works
- Displace Me 2007
- Late night breakfast in Becker served by the RA's
- Mass slumber parties in our dorm room
- Home cooked meals
- Free Trade Coffee
- Sweat-Free Shirts
- Non-Conflict Diamonds
- Camping
- Eating Burnt Marshmallows
- Meeting new people
- Waking up everyday
- Telling people about something I am passionate about
- Slip 'n slides
- Trying on fancy dresses just for fun
- Having a conversation with someone for a really long time and never running out of things to say
- Dancing and singing to cheesy VBS songs (Jump to the left and jump to right and sing to the Lord with all of your might...)
- Cuddling with SamSam
- Being handy and fixing things with my toolkit
- The feeling of accomplishment
- Blasting music and painting
- Posters
- The feeling when my heart flutters
- Pillow pits
- Going down slides
- Purple Highlighters.. you never see them much these days
- Encouragement
- Birthdays and the celebration of life
- Writing letters and cards
- Wisdom
- People who are knowlegable about the world
- Innocence
- Grace
- Days when you feel super skinny
- The Safety and Health of loved ones
- Accents
- Mother-Daughter bonding (most times)
- Being able to remember my dreams from the night before
- Pilates
- Burning Incense
- Having a good dance partner
- All Natural Chapstick
- The rainbows that are made by the reflection of water (specifically from sprinklers) and sunlight
- Morning dew
- Using a thesaurus
- God putting me out of my comfort zone
- TV show theme songs
- Will and Grace

- Facials and Massages
- Shopping with my mom
- Laughing with Nikki and Ashley in the backroom at work
- Blowing bubbles in my drinks with a straw... I love feeling like a 5 year old
- Spontaneous singing and dancing
- Driving on Delaney and Wadsworth... there are some pretty cool views especially at night
- People who respect my opinions on political and social matters
- fauxhawks
- Magic eight balls
- Having an afternoon Pimms and/or glass of wine with the Perrotts at their home in England
- Bandanas
- Camping with the RO girls
- Potbelly's Dreambars
- Taking funny pictures on my Mac with Amanda and Jackie
- Coffee table books
- Water parks
- Getting free Hazelnut Soy Lattes for early morning intern meetings... thanks SY!
- Converse
- Opening Bands and how they always come out and talk to you after the show. So real and so awesome.
- The chocolate cake at the Bridge
- Johnny and his big yellow van and crazy driving
- Talking to homeless people
- Late night walks
- Playing on the playgorund of death in RO
- My RO families
- Media Fasting
- Scribble Drawing with Elliot, Kristina, and Patrick
- Brushing my teeth
- Color coordinating
- Comics in the Sunday paper
- The Power of Prayer
- The Peacefulness and Calm lifestyle of the Romanians
- Glow in the dark mini golf
- Seeing really great movies in the theater
- Being pleasantly surprised
- Cotton Dresses
- Seeing a friend for the first time in a really long time and feeling like nothing has changed between the two of you
- Tubing (snow and water)
- Jumping off the back of boats
- Free things
- Song of Songs 2:10-13
- Sidewalk Chalk Drawing with Kristina
- Compromise
- Flag Football Tournaments
- Crushing Stereotypes
- Dr. Dickel's ridiculous comments and tangents during Child and Adolescent Development
- Texting Byron and Carolyn throughout educational psychology
- The Office and Jim Halpert
- Having my own bathroom
- Dark Hair and Light Eyes
- Decorationg Christmas trees and my room for Christmas
- Sleeping with a fan on
- Avocado
- Recruitment Practices for Gamma Phi
- Helping the students in the classrooms I observe with their art projects
- Oprah
- Blue Pen
- Wolves Hockey Games with my Family
- Chicago and everything about it
- Funny Halloween costumes that don't involve lingerie or animal ears
- Road Trips
- Cultural Saturdays with Katie Smith, Carolyn, Katie May and Kathleen
- Poetry Slams
- Ted and Wally's
- Almonds
- Being pleasantly surprised
- My over-the-shoulder bag
- My Car, Leo
- Meaningful Song Lyrics,

- Boat rides with the Strickland Family

- Kind and Happy people that just radiate goodness... these are the people that I want to surround myself with

- Text messages from my Dad just telling me he loves me and to have a good day

- Fleece

- Asking Questions

- Anxious/Excited feelings when you are finally about to go to something/do something that you have been planning to do for a really long time

- The Finer Things Club

- Mascara

- Seeing my parents during break

I just love reading back on stuff like this and realizing how different I am... or how I am scarily the same in so many ways...

I no longer use MySpace... not even for music... but it was nice to have a little "Blast from the Past" moment.

Here are a few of the good pictures to leave you all with: (I was such a MySpace girl, not even funny...)

TOMs-a-loms

Have you ever heard of TOMs shoes? If not, go to this site and check them out: http://www.tomsshoes.com

Basically, when you buy a pair of TOMs, they give a pair of shoes to a child who doesn't have any shoes.

No joke, these are some of the most comfortable things I have ever owned. I have had mine since Spring and I am wearing the crap out of them. AND the great thing? When you buy a pair, even though the price on some may seem a little steep, you are essentially buying TWO pairs of shoes. Pretty dang good deal for a good cause. Just check out the site and see it all for yourself.

My Breaking Heart.

I have been involved in some sort of youth group since I was in 6th grade. Either as a student or as a leader. As both, I have invested not only my time, but my heart and energy. Even if it hasn't always shown, I feel as if I have invested a lot... sometimes I wonder if I invest too much. I love being a part of these groups, but it is wearing. It's great, but there are some times that just break you down and break your heart.

Being a leader is WAY different than being a student. First, as a student, unless you are on some sort of leadership team, you don't really have any responsibility. You kind of just... show up. The more you put into youth group, the more you get out. Well, as a leader, you have to be active in everything 'youth group' to be effective. Active in your faith, active in building relationships, active in sharing yourself with others, and active in just being a part of the youth group community in general. Having this position requires a part of our hearts and emotions to be put on the front lines. Being open allows others to be open with us. I never knew how powerful and true this really is until recently.

Without revealing names and specific situations, there has been a lot of stuff going on with a bunch of girls in the junior high and high school youth group. Personal stuff. Heart-wrenching stuff. Over the couple of days, I have been exposed to 6 of these particular situations. It hurts seeing them go through this. It pains me not knowing what to do in certain situations. It's easy to think 'How did I NOT know any of this was going on?' My heart breaks for these girls. I know from experience how difficult and sucky adolescence is. I, personally, never want girls to go through some of the things that I did, but unfortunately, just because I don't want them to, doesn't mean it won't happen. Today, I find myself a little bogged down because of all of this. My heart is heavy. I am a little confused and really sad. I was really emotional last night when I was driving home just because I couldn't get some of the things out of my head.

For over a year, I have opened up to girls and tried to get to know THEM. As young women trying to live for Christ and as Daughters of a Perfect Father. Not only this, but also, I have been trying to get to know their faults, their weaknesses, and their sins. For the first 10 months, the hearts of these girls were hard. They weren't open to share anything. It's taken me a long time to gain the trust of most of these girls. I have shared myself with them, and now, they are finally beginning to share their lives with me. I hardly expected some things that they have been telling me. My investment, my heart, was ready to give, I thought, but it is being broken by their stories. By their experiences. Am I too weak? Have I invested too much?

The past couple of days have been rough, but after praying a LOT this afternoon and talking to a few people, I realize that it's okay that my heart is breaking. It means that I care.. It shows that I have been trying to get to know these girls on a more personal level and when I see them in pain and see them hurting, it hurts me. I don't always like to show my weaknesses... and sometimes I like to think that I have everything together. But, it's at times like these that I realized how broken we all are. The best I can do is to continue loving these girls. I feel as though my heart is heavy, but when I am able to give these girls completely to the LORD, he will lighten the load on my heart. He has invested more energy and love and compassion into relationships with these girls than I ever could. I know he has everything under control, so I don't need to worry about fixing things for myself. I can't. I can't solve their problems. I can't pretend I know everything about counseling. I can't always be there to be their confidante. I can cry all I want. But, I have to know that HE is in control. What can I do? Love these girls and encourage them to seek HIM. He's going to make everything okay. I just need to learn a balance of investment and TRUST.

EDU 548: SUCK FEST

I DESPISE my Education 548 class... Reading in content areas. First of all, I am studying to me an ART teacher. I don't use and won't use text books when I teach. When we have been going through all our content, my professor has even looked me in the eye and said, "well, you probably won't even use this..." OKAY. THANKS. So, why do I even have to take it?! Explain that to me, woman.

I am sitting in this class and I just want to scream. She's currently reading a children's book to us... thanks but I'm 21. And in college. And uninterested.

This is me. Pissed. In class. Death.

Encounter

Last November, I spontaneously decided to go on a Campus Ministry retreat called Encounter (with Christ). Retreats are pretty big at Creighton, and I had heard great things about them, but this was my first one. I guess it helped me feel a little more comfortable when a bunch of my friends also signed up. I was nervous before we left. With Creighton being primarily Catholic, I wasn't sure if this retreat would be primarily geared toward Catholicism and I would be one of the only Protestants attending. Overall, I just really didn't know what to expect.

That weekend turned out to be one of my favorite weekends I have had in college. It was more than just a weekend away from the hectic schedule at school, but it was a time I was able to join in community with people who had similar values to my own and feel rejuvenated and encouraged in my own walk with Christ. I met some people I never would have without the retreat and strengthened the relationships I already had. I saw God at work in the hearts of others and in my own heart. It was so memorable. Every moment.

One day last year, I decided to apply for a leadership position on the next Encounter. To my surprise, I got it! I was so excited! Not to mention, a bunch of my closest friends were going to be leaders as well! Over the past few months, our leadership team has met once a week to talk about the logistics of the trip, form groups, work with our partners, and assign jobs/committees. I was asked to speak on the retreat, which I was both really excited for and really nervous about. I am not a very good public speaker 'cause I get pretty flustered and anxious, but when I do talk, I normally think what I talk about is pretty decent. The awkward nervousness is all worth it. Anyways, the actual retreat was this past weekend, and I can say that this also makes the list of top ten weekends I have had at Creighton.

Being a leader this time around was a completely different experience than when I was a "retreatant". I knew so much more about what was going to happen, and instead of experiencing certain things for the first time and by surprise, I got to witness the excitement and joy that the others had. I also LOVED being a leader because I seriously think my small group was BOMB. I love my fellow student leader Dan and our adult leader Andrew. Seriously, I couldn't have asked for two men who were more caring and faithful than these two. They amazed me and encouraged me the whole time. If you both are reading this, thank you for your inspiration. I also loved the students in my group. It was really cool getting to know some of them for the first time. I was lucky enough to even have one of my own sorority sisters in my group which was incredible. They were 7 of the most peaceful, introspective, caring, and honest people I have encountered in a long time. They were quick to listen and open with the rest of the group about theirs lives, their apprehensions, and their faiths. God is so goo

d. I am so blessed to have gotten to be in a group with these people. They taught me a lot by their spirits and maturity. Not to mention, we were the green group and Dan and I bought ugly green sweaters from Salvation army for our group and they were a huge hit. AND we got first in the skit contest. NBD.

Other than my small group, I was constantly blown away by the sheer brilliance of our leadership staff. Each one of the adult and student leaders were representatives of Christ. They were prayerful, considerate, loving, encouraging, and not to mention SO MUCH FUN. I know my experience wouldn't be the same without each person being there. We truly were a team. It was awesome.

God really worked in my heart this weekend. Through my talk (which went way better than I ever expected it to), through the entire team, through reflection and prayer, through the witness talks of others, through small group discussions, through letters, and through one-on-one talks with some people. I heard HIS whisper throughout the weekend guiding me and leading my words. I loved how intimate of a retreat itwas... we all shared our hearts with not only with each other but with God. People who never thought they would get anything out of a campus ministry retreat were changed. Even though the attendants are mostly Catholic, it's during times like these retreats that I LOVE celebrating the love and life of Christ with other faithful believers. I loved hearing how our Heavenly Father was working through others.

I was once again reminded about how REAL God is. The beautiful and calming atmosphere in the middle of the woods was only part of the reason why. Every person came on that retreat for a reason, even if they didn't know what it was at first. This weekend was a reminder of how hopelessly human we all are. We all struggle and have imperfections, but how BLESSED we are to have a Loving and PERFECT God who wants a relationship with us and therefore loves us for who we are. Through the sacrifice of His Son, we are saved and given the opportunity to taste the Goodness of the Lord. Being in community, recognizing our needs for reflection and contemplation, listening to the wisdom of others, and spending time in prayer all facilitate an opportunity to learn more about the God who is calling out our names.

After such an amazing weekend, it's easy to be on a "retreat high". But, I am determined to remember not the retreat for the retreat, but remember the Beauty and Goodness of the LORD and be aware of His voice and blessings every single day.

Jenny Steinmann

I remember being a freshman at Creighton, a new member in the Gamma Phi Beta sorority. It was a Sunday and we were having our new member pinning ceremony and I was being walked through the ritual by my "Crescent Sister", a junior assigned to each one of us new freshman to help guide us through our first experiences in the sorority. I remember turning around to meet her, but I didn't recognize her. Despite this fact, she hugged me so hard. "I'm Jenny! Your crescent sister!"

When we went to brunch after this, I remember her sitting with me the entire time and just asking me question after question after question. Everything from What's your family like? to What would your dream job be? Not exactly questions people normally ask upon first meetings, but that didn't matter for Jenny. She was interested in me as a person from the start. I, a scared and insecure freshman girl not even sure if I really wanted to be a sorority, was loved by this junior. For being me. She embodied sisterhood from the start.

That next weekend, she picked me up so a bunch of us could hang out before our New Member Date Party. I told her at brunch that I didn't drink, but I was just really excited to hang out with my new sisters. When I got in the car, she looked me in the eye and said, "So, I have a surprise for you..." and out she pulled sparkling grape juice. "I know you don't drink, so I thought I would get you a little surprise. It's the closest thing I could find." Again, Jenny proved to me that she actually cared. She listened to what I told her, and she still went out of her way to make me feel loved and included.

Over the next year, Jenny and I would meet every once and awhile just to talk and catch up on life. We were never super close, but she was one of the upperclassmen that I could confidently call my friend.

Some background about Jenny: She was diagnosed as a child with Ewings Sarcoma. She had been in remission for a really long time, but recently, she found out her cancer came back and she was put in hospice because it spread so quickly and her condition worsened. Going in and out of consciousness for a little while, yesterday morning, she passed away in St. Louis. She was a pediatric oncology nurse in St. Louis and was still working even after she found out she relapsed. Her entire life, she was dedicated to cancer research, but unfortunately, she lost her battle with this disease.

I found out she passed away yesterday... and not going to lie, I was a mess. It was one of those things where I would be perfectly fine, but then just burst out in tears. This happened over and over. I didn't realize much a death of a sister would effect me.

I asked Kristin Fitzgerald, the president of my sorority, if I could talk at chapter about Jenny. After she told me I could, I spent the afternoon trying to think of what I might say. Stories. Memories. How great she was. But, I tried of thinking something else to talk about as well. Half of the girls in the sorority had never even met her, so I knew that if I just talked about Jenny, they would not feel as much a part of the sisterhood. There would be that lack of connection.

Now, I'm not the greatest public speaker, but I thought it was important to share with everyone. When I stepped up after a couple of Jesuits prayed with us, I told the stories I shared with you all. I talked about how great she was and how quick she was to love and accept others. Then it hit me. This was not only a time of remembering Jenny and celebrating her life (with some serious mourning in there too), but her death made me realize how much I take for granted. How much we all take for granted.

I have SO many sisters out there. Ones before me and ones that will come after me. Like I said before, I didn't know Jenny extremely well, but her death impacted me. And I know it impacted others. Her loss made me realize everything she offered while she was alive. Her strength. Her determination. Her compassion. It made me reevaluate how I see all of my sorority sisters. We are all bonded in a special way, and it made me realize that even though I may not know everyone as well as I wish I did, I cannot take ANY of them for granted. This isn't just for people in my sorority either. ANYONE. I cannot take anyone's life for granted. Everyone plays an important role in this life. If we only bonded with our friends and family as if they (or we) were going to die tomorrow, I am sure there would be no regrets once they/you died. I'll miss Jenny and I celebrate her life, but another part of be realized how I took her for granted. I accepted her as my sister and loved her for it, but do we ever take the time and truly embrace our loved ones the way we should?

I'm not living in regret because of this, but it opened my eyes. I love you all. Thank you for reading my blog and taking the time to read where I am coming from.

Jenny Steinmann

4.8.1986 - 11.4.2009

Bye Dud.

So, last night, I probably had one of the STRANGEST dreams I have had in my entire life... and I have had some pretty weird dreams before...

I was sitting in my old apartment at the island in my kitchen/living room. I was eating dinner but as soon as I was done, all my dishes were gone. This, however, didn't even seem to phase me. I hear a really loud knock on my door and I run for it. It sounded super urgent. When I open the door, there is the hallway are a bunch of my friends... but something was very different about all of them... OH, I know what it was, they were all half animal (Yeah, WEIRD, I know). There stood Cody (half gopher), Meghan (half cat), Josh (half donkey), Alyse (half mouse), Ravi (half mountain lion), Alex (half wolf), Dud (half pigeon), and Nate (half moose). I was fully human... standing in my apartment door just staring at my friends who had somehow turned part animal. I was confused, but I let them all in. They were all bickering about something (which actually is fairly normal) as they walked to my living room and sat down. Nate Frew broke a lamp when we hit it with his antlers. Glass was everywhere, and Dud started eating the glass chunks. We started talking about animal ethics, getting on topics such as product testing on animals, forest preservation laws, and the use of leashes for domestic animals. All of a sudden, Alex and Josh start fighting. A wolf versus a donkey... pretty hilarious. Josh kicked Al in the face and Al clawed Josh in the stomach. Both were getting hurt pretty bad but they weren't stopping. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see my window opening and in crawls an ENORMOUS spider. No one but me and Dud even seems to notice the spider that gradually makes it's way into my apartment. Then, as quick as a flash, the spider grabs Dud, the half pigeon, and crawls out the window with him. I crawl out the window after them, trying to save him, but I was too late and Dud got eaten. I go back into my apartment and I started yelling at everyone for not even caring that Dud got taken away and eaten by the giant spider... Meghan looks at me with a straight (but nasty cat face) that there was no need to worry because her and Ravi were going to eat him later anyways.

End of dream.

What the Heck?

I seriously don't even know what is going through my head at night. I almost want to go to a dream analyst just to see what they would say.

Chalk... A New Territory

In my life drawing class, my professor gives anyone in II or III the chance to do whatever they want the second half of the course. Well, since I am in III and working on my thesis, I am basically just trying to do things I think would work really well for my thesis... abstract figurative drawings.

Well, in life drawing, I am pretty conservative. Conservative in the materials I use, I mean... c'mon, it's life drawing, how "conservative" can you really be when you are drawing naked people for hours? Unlike my vibrant paintings, I like to draw in black and white mediums... preferably charcoal or graphite pencil. Well, at our midterm critique, I had one drawing with a bit of color in it. My professor, who is also my current thesis advisor, told me that I should really consider expanding and branching out with color in my drawings. I was hesitant... I kind of really like my comfortable, charcoal world... and it probably helps me in the fact that I know how to use the material fairly well. BUT, I took her advice, and I am starting to use chalk pastel.

I bought a box of good pastels today from Blick. I experimented the other day in class with color, and I know it's just going to take a lot of getting used to and some good practice. I just need to keep on going... keep on going... keep on going. Right now, I feel like I am in a basic art class again, learning how to technically use different mediums. CONFESSION: I don't like being the new person. I like to be the one that knows what going on and how to do things. I don't want to look stupid or incompetent. But now, I feel like I really look like it. The first drawing I did the other day makes the male model look like an alien (that's what I get for using lime green on his skin) and I just wasn't happy with it.

This is new territory for me. Chalk, that is. I think it is an amazing medium and I LOVE it when other people use it, it's just a matter of me not getting so caught up in being a perfectionist and instead, just loving the process. Hopefully, I will get over my self-consciousness in time for my thesis show so that I could have some really solid chalk pieces in there... we'll see!

Fall... in all it's glory.

Sooooo I like fall. This is one very important piece of information you should know about me. It's my favorite season by far. Even though I love going to the pool during the summer, skiing in the winter, and playing in the rain in the spring, fall just trumps in my opinion.

Why do I love fall? Well, here are my reasons:

1. The GORGEOUS colors when leaves are changing. I think our surroundings are just so spectacular and stunning when there is yellow, orange, and red.

2. Jumping in leaves. Duh. I know it's something little kids do, but I LOVE it.

3. Raking leaves (it's probably one chore I really don't mind all that much... that and laundry).

4. Sweater and jacket weather. I get to bust out my peacoats and sweaters and it makes me really happy. And shopping for new sweaters and such is also a fabulous experience.

5. Halloween. I love Halloween. I love dressing up and being weird, so naturally, I love Halloween. Not to mention, trick-or-treating is incredible. And so is left over Halloween candy.

6. Candy corn. It's my favorite candy, probably 'cause it's just pure sugar.

7. Hot drinks. Coffee, tea, and hot chocolate... I know you can drink these all year round, but having them on a crisp fall day just seems WAY more fitting.

8. School supply shopping. I love shopping for school and new supplies. I love having a fresh new notebook, planner, binders, and pens. Yeah, I'm a nerd.

9. Thanksgiving. I LOVE Thanksgiving. Amazing food. Great family time.

10. Football. Now, I used to not be a huge fan, but since I have come to college, I enjoy the game sooo much more. So yeah, I really do actually enjoy watching football.

11. Baking pumpkin seeds.

12. Carving pumpkins and scooping out all the goop. I just always have this major urge to chuck that stuff at someone's face...

13. Frost in the morning. I love waking up and seeing that little layer of frost on grass, on cars, on trees, and on windows. I think it's great how cold it can be at night but then how mild it is in the day time.

14. NO humidity. Does this need an explanation? I hate sweating when I am not working out.

15. Pumpkin Patches and hayrack rides... NOT scary hay rack rides though.

16. The smell... I don't know if you can smell it or not, but I think fall has a very distinct smell... and I LOVE it. It's like this sweet, woody, almost pumpkin like smell. Ugh, awesome.

17. Apples! Apple picking, apple pie, carmel apples, apple cider... SO good.

18. Going downtown Chicago. There is just something about Chicago in the fall that is so amazing... but so inexplicable at the same time.

19. Hats. I like wearing hats. I don't that often, but I like it when I do.

20. Wearing boots and wool socks.

21. Staying in on cold nights and just watching a movie or reading a book with sweats on and a blanket... or a snuggie...

22. Fireplaces and bonfires. I like fire.

23. Holiday scented candles. Things that smell like baking cookies or anything like that just make my heart melt. I could live without lamps if I could just have hundreds of holiday scented candles around my house... but that's a fire hazard... and I don't like fire THAT much.

24. Harvest moon... so beautiful.

25. Comfort food.

847

It is fall break. Glorious. This means I am back home in Chicago, soaking in my favorite season, spending time with family, going downtown, and sleeping. Two of my friends, Laura and Leah, even came with me because they both have sisters that live here. Laura will be staying with me half way through the week... I am excited to give her a little tour of my hometown :)

Anyways, this is going to be a short little post.

Yesterday, I walked into my room and saw a ton of mail on my desk. I look through it and find one VERY interesting letter from the Circuit Court of Illinois... At first, I thought I was being sued. I don't know what for, but I got worried. Then, when I opened it, that's when I saw my Juror badge... I got a letter for Jury Duty. This made me kind of laugh at first, just because my sister Jackie literally just finished her Jury Duty in Kansas. Well, I don't wanna do it, cause knowing my luck, I would get a murder case that would last 5 months. Hopefully going to school full time in Nebraska will be a good enough reason for me to get excused... we'll see...

Some Will Seek Forgiveness, Others Escape

This is my favorite song. Ever. It moves me literally to tears. UnderOath... You know what's goin' on, THAT'S for sure.

I would love to do what this girl is doing. Just paint for the Lord. Just have HUGE canvases and go crazy. I should really make that investment and find a spot. Because, it is the coolest thing ever.

The second part of this video is of her using painting as a form of worship... AND she is painting to my favorite song. I hope it moves you, both her art and the song. It just awakens in me and reminds me of the beauty of worship and how in ANYTHING you do, you can praise the FATHER. This is definitely something I need to be reminded of every day... especially in conjunction with my thesis.

Enjoy.

Smelly

I'm in the Library avoiding homework. SOOOOOOO, I blog.

I love smells -- Okay, don't be immature with this one. I just love the human nose's ability to pick up little scents. I don't even know the biology or anatomy of it all, I just think it is so cool that God made scent. He made everything and everyone have a different smell. Now THAT'S creative.

Here are my top 10 Favorite Smells:

1. Freshly cut grass

2. Vanilla

3. The air after it rains

4. Coffee

5. Ralph Lauren 'Hot' (perfume)

6. Freshly baked cookies

7. Gasoline

8. Old books

9. Tide laundry detergent

10. Peppermint

Here are my top 10 Least Favorite Smells:

1. Farm. Mainly the cow and pig crap smell.

2. Lemon

3. Cooked ground hamburger

4. Old Lady perfume

5. Wet Dog

6. New Car Scent

7. Old Milk

8. Babies

9. Burnt bread

10. Hand Sanitizer

I Can't Even Put It Into Words...

I am one extremely blessed girl.

Recently, I've been having frequent discussions with friends about how busy I am. Talking about how I just feel like I haven't been taking advantage of my senior year of college the way I should be. I still should be studying and doing well in all my classes, of course, but I feel like I have put relationships on the back burner. I feel like I have not been focused enough on the people in my life and building up relationships with those I care most about. This is a major issue. I think part of me felt like, "Oh, well, I have a lot of good friends and they will understand if I can't always hang out." Or, "Well, it's okay because we are already good friends, nothing should change." If you subconsciously feel this way when you find little time to spend with loved ones, think again people. Think fast. Relationships are a two-way street. They require sacrifice, time, dedication, attention, compassion, honesty, and love. As much as I would love to say my relationships with all my friends and my family are better than they ever have been, I cannot. I know that I have not put in the time and effort that is so vital for relationships to grow and flourish. For this, I apologize to each and every one of you.

I am not perfect and I never will be. But, that doesn't mean that any of you deserve a position in my life that trails behind school, work, and activities. You are all more important than all those things. As much as I want a great GPA and to be involved and active on campus, I would rather leave college with all the memories of all the times I spent with my family and friends than a 4.0. I will want to remember all the stupid games we played, not the tests I failed OR aced. I will want to remember movie nights over the number of service hours I got. I will want to remember hugs over resumes. Relationships are the key to my insanity, so I don't know why I even thought it would be slightly okay to just step away from them for a bit.

I hope you all know how much I truly care about you and your place in my life. Each one of you are irreplaceable, in the world and in my heart (I know. CHEESY. But, 100% true!). You all have given me something that I will always cherish and remember. Thank you for being there for me when I have not always been there for you. Thank you for your compassionate and accepting hearts when I have expressed my feelings and apologies to you. I also want to offer a special "THANK YOU!!!!!!" to everyone who responded to my Senior Thesis questions/interview for my art gallery. Thank you for opening up to me and being honest. Thank you for taking it seriously. Thank you for being inspirational in all you do and say.

God has blessed me with amazing families. A real, biological family that accepts me for my craziness and is always there by my side. These are the incredible individuals who have literally seen me at my worst, yet have loved me deeper than I deserve. A sorority family: a lifelong sisterhood that lights up my life every single day. I truly identify myself as a part of Gamma Phi Beta and I am proud to say it. Thank you for your JOY. Not to mention, the Curtis family who is just remarkable in every way. My church family (and NCC family): Amazing men and women who I have only known for about a year but who have been there through the thick and the thin. They are there to help and encourage me to grow as a woman of Christ. I would not be the same without you. My Creighton Family: You. are. all. REMARKABLE. I have had some of the best moments of my life with you and I pray every single day that I will be able to share MANY more of those moments with you outside of college. Thank you for loving me for me and sharing in my bizarreness. Thank you for being the ones to be laugh WITH me instead of the ones laughing AT me. Most of all, I have a HEAVENLY FATHER who is responsible for everything. I am so lucky to have grown up in the faith. I have seen Him at work and without His love and power, I know I wouldn't be who I am today.

I tried my best to put all this into words, but it still feels insufficient.

I love you all.

Hello Bathtub, Goodbye Phone.

I normally have really good luck with phones- who would have thought?! Remarkably, I am not the type of girl that needs to get a new phone every other month because I either hate the design, lose it, or break it. Yes, I do frequently drop my phone (duh), but I have never actually damaged one. Well, good thing my mom encouraged me to get phone insurance on this last one, because it happened ladies and gentlemen. I broke my phone.

I was nannying yesterday afternoon. Well, it has been raining in Omaha over the past couple of days but despite this, I still let the kids go outside and play. I love the rain. And so do they. Well, yesterday, the little one, Lydia, was running around in the rain and mud while the other three were inside doing homework. When it comes to monitoring, would I rather help with homework or play? DUH- PLAY. Plus... some of their homework I have no idea how to do. Embarrassing? Yes. True? Yes. Oh elementary school and your tricky equations... Sorry, tangent. Anyways, she was outside playing in the mud and it was almost time for her mom to get home so I figured I would call her in so we could clean her up. I filled the bathtub up a couple inches so we could wash her legs and feet (oh, look at me being all maternal!), but I forgot that I had my phone in my back pocket. Well, after washing her feet, I stood up to get a towel and out flies my phone.. It was one of those slow motion moments too... the light blue LG chocolate strategically maneuvers it's way out of my back pocket, glides through the air, flips a couple times, and lands perfectly in the muddy water. The little girl started to giggle. I, however, did not. I yelled and reached in. And there it was... gone. All sad and soaked. I tried drying it off, but now, my battery doesn't work if it's not plugged in, and even then, half of my buttons don't work. I ordered a new phone last night and it should be arriving sometime today.

Not having a cell phone on me at all times is a REALLY strange feeling. I never really considered myself to be one of those people that heavily relies on their phones and technology. Sure, I love the internet, email, facebook, and texting, but I could live without them. I have become so accustomed to having my cell phone constantly by my side, my prime method of communication. Well, not having my cell phone makes me feel so distant from people. I don't know where any one is at, I don't have a land line, I don't know who may be trying to get a hold of me, AND I have no idea what time it is. This is a good learning experience for me. Getting out of my technology world and really feeling and seeing the day go by without responding to random text messages throughout my day or making sure I am always on time. It's a more "go with the flow" type of going about your day. Despite all this, I can't wait to get my new phone.

Another lesson learned? Cell phones like bathtubs. Beware.

One journal down...

I just finished my first journal ever.  Cover to cover, it's filled.  This might not sound particularly interesting to you, but I am REALLY excited! See, I have always liked journaling, but I wasn't very consistent in doing it.  I would journal for a couple months and then go into a funk and not write anything for a few months.  I had some weird complex with returning to that same journal with the proof that I was really inconsistent in my records.  So, I would always buy a new one.  Due to this, I have about 7 journals that are, at most, half-way filled.  Well, last September, I bought a new journal because I really wanted a fresh start; I wanted to be more dedicated to written prayer requests, my thoughts, and basically what is going on in my life and how I see God working.  Well, I finished it.  Finally! It is really exhilarating for me.  I had a personal goal for myself to be more dedicated to this and to use it as a helpful tool in growing in my faith, and I did it.  I started my new journal yesterday, and it is a little surreal for me, if that makes any sense.  The clean pages.  The crispness when I write.  The outside isn't worn down or tearing at the corners.  I am excited to start this new journal... Pushing myself to write every single day, even if it is simply one memory or record of how I saw God working... or even a prayer request or two.  I need to write every day.  This journey that I am on (Hello, LIFE!) is so interesting and I learn new things every single day. God is continually teaching me about myself, Himself, and others.  Why wouldn't I want those memories documented? Anyways, this will be fun. 

::Me and my new journal... YAY!::

Being an Ambassador

At Coram Deo, we are still going through the book of Colossians.  Each sermon basically focuses in on a few verses at most.  After 7 weeks, we are at Colossians 1:19-20.  It is amazing that if we just took some time, reading and studying the Word, how you can take a single verse or a few verses, and have enough information to make an entire sermon.  That just blows my mind, seriously. The Bible is incredible.  Way to go, God!

Anyways, this past week's sermon (looking at Colossians 1:19-20) really convicted me.  But not in a negative way necessarily.  Of course, no one likes being reminded and humbled by the recognition of their own sin, but instead of feeling guilty and discouraged by this conviction, I left feeling more inspired and determined than I have felt in a long time.  I was encouraged my the word's that God spoke to Will.  I was encouraged by His Word through the book of Colossians.  I was encouraged by the reminder that God invites us all to be convicted of sin and therefore transformed by the Holy Spirit and willing to be an ambassador of reconciliation.  

The sermon reminded us that:

1. God is Author -->  He created the world and He created it good and perfect.  Creation is not an end, but a means of praise and glorifying the Creator.  We should find joy in our surroundings, not because we should consume ourselves in the, but so that we can worship God.  Even after the fall, creation- including human beings- remembers deep down what it/we were made for.  We long for something greater than our current reality.

2. Jesus is the Agent -->  By everything being reconciled by the blood of the cross, God was making peace.  God is Holy and just.  He could not overlook sin and not have sin paid for.  To make peace and out of His love, he placed the punishment of Sin upon Himself and upon His Son, Jesus Christ.  In that very moment when Jesus was murdered, God's wrath ended.  Why then do we still so often find the need for revenge? bitterness?  For not forgiving those who have sinned against us?  God's wrath ended and He was graceful.  All anger was poured out on Jesus and this was God making PEACE.  How come we still so frequently feel the need to sin against those who have wronged us when Jesus ended that war.  It makes no sense for us to try to find Justice with revenge when God, who IS justice, already evened things out. PEACE. PEACE. PEACE.

3.  We are the ambassadors -->  God created us in His image.  Our identity is as an ambassador for reconciliation and for the Kingdom.  But, God doesn't force us to be ambassadors.  He invites us to be.  He doesn't NEED us.  He is almighty and whatever he wills WILL be done.  But, there is still something so beautiful and enticing about the fact that he continues to woo us into the story of rebuilding the Kingdom; Being reminded that we were created for a much greater purpose and we can (and will) return to our original state.    He knows that in the end, we will find the most joy and happiness with Him.  He is doing this through us at all times and with the gifts he has given us.  By looking at your gifts, whether shepherding, leading, teaching, serving, hospitality (and much MUCH more), God is using you to not only fulfill YOUR TRUE IDENTITY but also so that HIS KINGDOM WILL BE RESTORED.

An Ordinary Girl Encountering the Awkwardness of Life

So, a few posts ago, I mentioned how I am clumsy and awkward.  Well, this is still true.  VERY true.  So true, that I think I am going to start another blog dedicated to recalling my encounters with "the awkward".  Awkward moments, awkward people, embarrassment, and basically how I am a magnet for 'out of the ordinary' circumstances.  This blog that you are reading at this very moment was originally created to be a compilation of my thoughts, ideas, and basically an overall telling of what is going on in my life.  If I posted every time something strange happened to me on top of things I have been learning and such, I would be posting numerous times a day.  So, I think I am going to expand.  This particular blog will still account to my growth as a human being, a spot to share my thoughts, and also a tool to explain some cool things going on in my life (a little catch up, if you will), but my new blog will be a dedication to the unanticipated randomness and hilariousness that is BETH.  Seriously people, this is going to be awesome.  I am pretty excited about it.  I already have some really good stories to tell.  I even got suggestions from a good friend to make it into a movie... so.... who would play me? Huh. I will have to think about it... ANYWAYS: Check it out.  Below is my new blog address/link.  Save it. Cherish it. Check it (and this one of course) out frequently, please.  Comment on it.  Love you all! Thanks for supporting all my blog endeavors!

Awkward Blog: Bethism