JOB!

Okay, so I know this is really sudden and everything, but…

I GOT A JOB!

Surprised, right!? Yeah, believe me, I am too.  It all happened so suddenly, and I can’t believe I actually got it.

A couple of girls I have gotten to know pretty well at ReChurch are teachers.  We have bonded over this commonality and have often engaged ourselves in conversations about classroom management strategies, fun lesson plans, and our awkward students and the silly things they’ve said.  I have been asked over and over by them, and other people who know I am an education major, if I wanted to teach in New Zealand.  I have thought about it a lot, but never actually pursued looking at openings.  Especially with the earth quake and everything, looking for a job here was kind of the last thing on my mind.

However, the other day while I was talking to one of my friends about school (she works at an intermediate school right outside the city centre) mentioned how a few of the school’s teachers had left and now they were looking for part-time people.  I didn’t think much about it until she asked me if I would be interested in one of the fine arts positions.  I basically said “That would be really neat if I could have an opportunity like that.”  But I kind of left our conversation at that.

Turns out, she talked to the administrative board at her school and got me an interview.  The school sent me an email early this morning basically asking me if I wanted to come in for an interview THIS afternoon.  WHAT?!  Good thing I have been looking for jobs back in the states and had an updated/edited resume.  I called them back and accepted the interview request.  But again, I had to take this whole thing with a grain of salt… I wasn’t certified in New Zealand, didn’t have any of the proper paperwork, and was not a resident.  How was this going to work?

Well, this is basically what they said after the interview:

We aren’t terribly concerned about your current teaching status in New Zealand, especially with your degree from the states, because this is a part-time position.  Also, your current Visa dates do allow you to stay until the end of the school year.  Although we don’t have your transcript information, we want to offer you the position.  Once we receive your university paperwork, you would officially be able to start when the last school term begins in June.

I GOT THE JOB.  I will be working part-time at an intermediate school here in CHCH.  I will be working until the end of the school year in November.  Right now, the position is not permanent at all.  It’s just extending my stay here another 4 or 5 months.  If I do get offered a full time position next school year, being home over the holidays will allow me time to get an new visa.  But that's not in the radar as of now.

I know this is really fast and super sudden, especially for my good friends out there who I haven’t talked to at all about this.  I just feel this is really the best step to take right now, especially with the job market back in the States.  And I think it’d be great to be able to stay with ReChurch and continue the church plant here.  Thanks to my family for being so supportive on such a short notice and really encouraging me on this new adventure.

"Pitch Black"

Have you ever seen the movie "Pitch Black"? Gah... it's terrible.

I had never seen it before tonight.  I slightly recognized the name when Yo and Neil initially asked me if I had ever heard of it before, but I had NO idea who was in it or what it was about.

Now, I love movies.  Anyone who knows me somewhat well knows this about me.  I will pretty much watch any movie I haven't seen just because I am curious to see how it is.  And I enjoy most of the movies I watch... at the very least, I find most movies entertaining or somewhat funny enough to actually see again.  My favorite movies though, and I may be biased in saying this, are genuinely good movies.  "The Departed" is the best.  I just have good taste, I suppose.

So naturally, when Neil and Yo enthusiastically asked me if I want to watch "Pitch Black" with them, I said yes!  Always up for a new movie!  I got pretty pumped for it too because they both said it was super scary and "hoped I wouldn't get nightmares." Little did I know that the movie contained the two worst things to ever happen to film: Cheesy Aliens and Vin Diesel.

Sorry Vin, aka Riddick... your large muscles can't get you out of this one.

I don't know if it was the awkwardly frequent use of unnecessary cuss words, the young girl pretending to be a boy, the horrible Australian actors trying to have American accents, the awful special effects, or the weak attempt at Riddick's "philosophical" and "moral" awakening at the end, but none of it worked.  And it wasn't even scary.  If you are going to do an alien movie, either make it super awesome and scary or so cheesy it's hilarious.  Middle ground just doesn't cut it.

I feel a little bit bad because I know there are probably a ton of people out there that love this movie.  But I don't think I would ever sit down and watch it again if I had the choice.

3 Hour Bus Tour

Joe texted me mid-morning and asked me if I wanted to go to coffee with him and another member of ReChurch.  I had been in the house just working on other office work and reading some material that Hamish assigned me, so getting out of the house sounded nice.  Joe asked me if I would like to be picked up - him and his wife Amy have been my primary transporters since the quake - or if I would like to take the bus to the cafe.  Now, I love the bus system here.  It's clean, safe, and super efficient.  Since the earth quake though, I haven't taken the bus.  A good number of the bus routes weren't even running up until recently just because buses couldn't get down some streets.  There were a couple bus routes nearby, but none of them my regular #45 bus that was right around the corner and would drop me off right near the office.  Lucky me that most bus routes opened back up on Friday.  I figured since I was going to start taking the bus to the offices again for work, it would be good to get used to the routes in case of any minor changes in stops or scheduling.  I told Joe confidently that I would take the bus.

I was so good about it and being prepared.  I looked up maps online, the time schedules, and triple-checked that my route was now running properly.  Yay #45!  I walked to the bus stop and read parts of my book while I waited.  I was not worried at all, especially when a number of other people joined me at the stop.  The #45 bus only really extends out to my suburb and is in fact the only bus that picks up at the particular stop I was at.  From a distance, a few minutes after the scheduled pick -up time, I saw a bus in the distance... however, it was NOT a blue and green bus like the one I normally took.  It was blue and orange. I thought to myself, "Hmm, how strange?  That doesn't look like a #45 at all... well, maybe they just needed to use different buses while they rearrange other routes."  It didn't occur to me that I maybe should have asked if it was the right bus or anything... I just got on because everyone else did.  Yep, I am a follower.  I went to the back, took my seat, and was again comforted by the school uniforms on some of the students because I recognized them from the buses I normally took.   At Burwood Road, the next large intersection, the #45 bus is supposed to turn left...

... We kept going straight.

I got a little panicked but then thought that maybe there was still too much damage down that route and they have to go around.  After this, we ended up passing the road that would have taken me to the cafe.  It dawned on me that after passing both the main streets that the #45 stops on that I MUST be on the wrong bus.  SHOOT.  I would press the 'stop' buttons on the bus at this point, except we were driving on one of the main hubs where there are no bus stops whatsoever.  I have to stay on the bus.  I wasn't sure where exactly this bus was taking me or where the end was... I STILL don't even know what number bus I was on... but i figured that if it picked me up on Travis Road, it would eventually take me BACK to Travis Road.

I really had no idea how long this little trip would take me.  After about half an hour, we reached one of the malls I am slightly familiar with on the other side of town.  I thought maybe this would be a good place to got off, because then I could call someone and have them pick me up.  Brilliant idea, RIGHT?!  I pulled out my phone... and realized my battery died.  I kept trying to remember phone numbers but wasn't 100% positive about anyone's cell numbers and I knew that neither Yo or Neil were at the house.  THAT doesn't help.  So instead of getting off at the only familiar area, I stayed on the bus.  The bus continued to take me to another mall and then took me to the University campus and then to all these other suburbs I had never heard of before.  I got a little nervous at one point too when I saw signs for the West Coast.  After an hour and fifteen minutes, the bus reached the very end where it parked along the street.  The bus driver looked at me and said, "Pardon, but are you going all the way back into town?"  It was at this point when I decided to tell the driver (His name is James... and he has four kids and a wife who he's been married to for 31 years) about my adventure and my mistake.  He just laughed and told me that he's headed back that way in fifteen minutes but just needed a toilet break.  I got to know him quite well after chatting for awhile.

We finally started making our journey back and I was thankful that I wasn't just going to be stranded in some random town with a creepy bus driver and no form of communication.  After three hours, I finally made it back to the Lawrence's house.

Are any of you surprised by this story? Nope, me neither.  Next time I have a hunch a bus might not be the right one, I should probably just ask and double check.  OH, and no, I never did make it to that coffee meeting. 

Love Has No Regrets

Two posts in one day?! WHAT IS THIS?! Beth's goin' crazy, yo.

No, I just read this article that my friend Emily posted from XXXchurch.com onto facebook and I couldn't help but respond to it.  Please do have a read.

XXXchurch Love has no regrets...

This article comes at a "funny" time in my life.  Okay, not really, but I feel like a good chunk of the conversations I have been having with people lately are about relationships.  Like I have mentioned in previous posts, my "singleness" is often brought to light by and through friends and family.  It isn't that relationships are a taboo subject for me or that I hate talking about love, marriage, and relationships.  It is just a part of so many of my friends' lives, especially at the moment with so many people getting married and engaged.  Even talking with some of my best friends, some of who are in the same boat as I am and some who are not, the topic of 'relationships' inevitably comes up.  I mean, both my older sisters are married too, I can't just not ask about how their husbands are doing.  Relationships are such an integral part of my life right now, even though I am not even in one.  (What the heck?! Kidding.)  I am so excited for so many people getting married.  I think marriage is so wonderful and sacred - so why wouldn't I celebrate it, for goodness sake?!  I love seeing people make life-long commitments with each other.  I love that so many people cherish the institution of marriage and everything it stands for.  And even though I am no where near getting married, I still see how beautiful of a thing it is.

In the words of Kristin Fitzgerald: "I love love."  But, I can't help but sometimes wonder if I truly understand what love is.  I mean, what it REALLY is.  I have had such messed up views of 'love' and 'relationships.'  Sometimes, I still do.  Hence one reason I am not in one.  In the days before I became a Christian, I would definitely have included myself in the % of people (from the article) who regret 'love' above most anything else.  Even being a Christian, I have still made ridiculously dumb decisions and have had immature relationships with guys.  Now though, regret just doesn't seem to be the right word.  I now understand and believe wholeheartedly in grace.  I truly do believe that God loves me for exactly who I am, no strings attached.  I truly believe that Jesus died on the cross for ALL of my sins (even all those involving sticky relationships).  I know that I can tell God everything I have done and he'll forgive me... because He loves me... and because of this, my desire to live in pure union with Him grows.  I have to recognize all the stupid things I have done.  I have to recognize all the mistakes I have made in relationships.  Do I wish I had never done or said some things? Of course I do.  But, I don't regret any of it anymore.  I know that those obstacles have allowed me to overcome other road blocks.  I know all those mistakes have allowed me to become the person I am today.

I can't help but understand where most of those interviewed individuals from the article are coming from though.  After seeing so many friends and family broken over unhealthy relationships, it's easy to doubt love, blame love, blame others, and reject the whole idea of romance.  But I love how the author of the blog post repeatedly stated the difference between true 'love' and 'romance.'  And yes, there is a difference - duh, read the article!  I think the reason so many people regret love, romance, and make poor decisions in relationships is because of a skewed vision of sex, marriage, love, the opposite sex, and a greater reliance on the culture's perception of romance instead of God's plan for love.  Like the author said,

I did happen upon another definition of "romance" and when it comes to *true love*, it was the closest one that I could find: "love, esp romantic love idealized for its purity or beauty". But really...do you think if we all made it a point and purpose to base our romantic relationships on *purity* that it would garner 18.1% of a regret vote? *What would there be to regret?*

Yes, we all make mistakes and sometimes wish we could erase the things we have said and done in the past.  But we can't.  So why don't we take those lessons and start trying to understand, appreciate, and love the true design for love and relationships?

I get asked all the time here if I have a partner.  In New Zealand, a lot of people do not get married but are in relationships and have children with a partner.  So instead of calling someone a 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend', which would be fairly weird to say of someone you have been with for a good chuck of your life and have a family with, the person you are with "romantically" is referred to as your partner.  Sexual orientation set aside.  Even some married couples call their spouses their 'partners.'  I am okay with answering no.

I don't know if I will ever get married or have a family or fall in love.  Some people think I am negative and pessimistic for thinking this way and saying things like that, but I really don't think I am.  I would rather be single and live completely and wholly in Christ than be in a relationship with a man or married because I am lonely, feel pressured, am too physically involved, or because I feel obligated and yet only be offering half of my heart to God.  I refuse to settle.  It's not easy to say that, believe me.  But it is the truth.  Also, I am only 23 and have a lot of traveling to do.

But if I do get married one day, I know I am not going to regret it.

The NEW Intern

Wait... am I being replaced? Well, yes, unfortunately... but I can't complain too much since I will technically be done with my internship when this new intern comes in... psshhh... NEW intern.

I am actually not mad at all.  On the contrary, really.  I am super pumped that starting January 2012, ReChurch will have a new worship intern named Jake.  Especially since Nate, the worship/creative arts pastor, is "technically" the only ReChurch staff member I don't work directly with.  Recently I have been working with him a little bit, I mean with all the new art stuff I am doing and working on, but in the grand scheme of things, he isn't my supervisor.  Sorry Nate.  Holler holler, clown.  This is especially perfect because Nate will be going on furlough starting next April(ish) so Jake will take over leading worship for the few months Nate and his family are back in the states.

This morning, Nate and I had a little skype meeting with Jake.  It was actually really fun being on the "experienced" end and telling a future intern about what I have been doing since I arrived in New Zealand.  I felt like a legit team member when I was telling him about the church and the mission in CHCH.  I also was able to give him good tips and ideas for support raising, different aspects of culture shock I experienced, and other minor details that, honestly, I never even thought about until after I got here.

A couple of times I thought in my head how beneficial it would have been to have someone interning with ReChurch before me so I could hear their thoughts about the church, the city, and their overall experiences.  Honestly, it probably would have prepared me a lot better.  I could have definitely used some advice on how to raise more/better support.  I could have had someone tell me the positives and negatives of living in a host home versus flatting.  It would have been useful for someone to tell me all the slang words and their definitions BEFORE I arrived... But then again, how lucky am I to be the first intern that ReChurch has ever had?  I am so blessed and lucky to be a part of a team I enjoy and respect beyond words.  I love having a leadership role in a church with such gospel-centered beliefs and values.  God, through the spontaneity of the whole experience, is teaching me a lot about faith and trust and flexibility.  I am having so much fun learning more about church planting, ministry, and cross cultural experiences every single day. 

I am the first intern.  I am going to be helping pave the way for the interns after me... hopefully there are LOTS of them.  This has been such a positive experience for me.  Even if I never am involved in church planting ever again (Even though I am pretty sure I will be), I still have so many good memories.  I got so excited talking to Jake about the NZ culture.  I enjoyed giving him creative ideas on how to raise support.  I loved being able to actually answer his questions about cross-cultural ministry.  I know I am only two months in and I am NOT a "professional" or full-time church planter or missionary, but I AM the first ReChurch intern.

Eat that, future interns!

... Okay, I'm sorry, that was rude of me.

Skype, Prayers, Friends.

Skype is truly one of the greatest inventions ever.  I don't know who invented it or where it really came from - and honestly, I am too lazy to look it up - but that person deserves some major 'kudos.'  Kudos, skype guy.... KUDOS.  And even though I am not the best long distance communicator, skype makes it SO much easier to get in touch with the people you love and care about.  And it's free.  I love free things. 

But really, skype is great - there's no doubt about it.

Today, I talked to some of my best friends over this fabulous communication tool.  I love the fact that even though I am 18-19 hours ahead of most of my friends and family back in the states, we are able to bridge that gap of time and space and spend quality time together.  [No, it's not the same as sitting and having coffee with someone face-to-face, but it's the closest I can get to that right now]  The most important thing to me is that I can hear the voices and see the faces of those I truly care about.  I love being able to continuously have the opportunity to share my heart and life with those on the opposite side of the world.  I love the fact that I can pray with people over the internet.  I love that my friends and I can still joke about stupid stuff without having to pay over-the-top phone fees.  I love that I can talk with my parents weekly so that they know I am still alive and doing well.  I love being able to hear what my sisters and brothers-in-law are up to these days.

I know skype isn't as great as face-to-face communication, but it's the closest option I have at the moment, and I think it's fabulous.

Thanks to everyone who has taken times out of their days and nights to chat with me on skype.  Miss you dearly. 

A Kiwi Weekend

This past weekend, the Lawrences (My hosy family) and I had what Neil would like to call, "A Kiwi Weekend".  This basically meant that most of what we did as a family and the activities we took part in were very "Kiwi"... very New Zealander.  When Neil mentioned wanting to do this, I got a little nervous... I mean, I have been living here for two months but I don't actually know what that means...

Here's what we did:

• Went on a walk around one of the few parks that isn't infested with sewage and fed the ducks and geese.
• Had a Roast... which was absolutely delicious!  It was roast lamb with savory (salty) pumpkin, kumara (sweet potato), roast potato, parsnip, and peas... I even got to try some mint sauce.  Saying that I enjoyed the meal was an understatement.
• Watched two movies: "The World's Fastest Indian" and "A Dog's Tale"... The latter was VERY kiwi and told a lot of farming/country jokes I didn't really get, but I loved "The World's Fastest Indian".  Watch it if you can!
• Listened to Dave Dobbyn
• Watched the Earthquake Memorial service on TV.  It was super special and heaps awesome.  I wish I had actually gone to the service itself, but it was still incredible to hear different world leaders come up and speak (including Prince William himself!) and to see how determined the city is to get back on it's feet.
• Had pavlova, a kiwi dessert that is basically just whipped sugar with a meringue coating, fresh whipped cream, and strawberries on top.  Super good, super sweet.

It's nice to have simple moments and memories like these.  I guess they weren't kidding when they told me that they wanted me to have a full Kiwi experience.

Painting: ReChurch Style

My internship is, so far, looking a lot different than I thought it would a month and a half ago.  That's not a bad thing at all though. I think that God allows our hearts and minds to be opened with any experiences we might face.  Because this is "technically" a community outreach internship, I expected to just be working with people in the community the entire time.  It's true in that is primarily where my time has been spent in the 7 weeks I have been in CHCH mainly.  However, this past week, I did something for the church I haven't really done since October... paint.

The staff members - primarily Hamish - asked me if I would be up for painting an abstract version of the sermon series logo 'Remedy' and naturally I said "YES!"  I really do miss making and producing art on a regular basis... an although I have done some crafty things for the children's ministry, I was pumped to step into the realm of abstraction and modern art again!  I mean, yeah, I was burnt out by the time of the show, but after 5 months, I was ready to get back into it again (WHOA... has it really been five months? Where has the time gone?!).

(The real 'Remedy' logo that Whitney made for the sermon series)

It was so fun going into a local art shop, picking out paints and a canvas, and beginning the painting.  It was freeing and emotional for me.  I felt like I was back in my own skin... doing just what I love to do... making art - emotional art - hoping to give viewers a glimpse of a creative and loving God.  I spent basically all of this past weekend hanging out in Hamish's back yard painting the large canvas that was going to be on display for the service on Sunday.  It only took me a day and a half, and it turned out pretty decent having not painted for awhile.  On Sunday, it sat up front the entire service as a sort of back drop for the sermon.  After the service, I received heaps of compliments - which I was not expecting at all, especially since I had not told anyone what I was doing or had done. 

I expected that to be the last piece of art I would really make for ReChurch.  However, at the staff meeting today, Hamish and Nate brought up the idea to make more paintings to possibly auction off or display in a "gallery"-type setting.  The idea would hopefully be to raise money for EQ relief fund, while also having something substantial to give to those who donated.  Basically, we talked about me painting one or two paintings a week... paintings hopefully giving off a sense of hope and positivity to the viewer.  I was in disbelief.  I get to do community outreach work AND paint?! WHAT?!  Dream come true, really.

I am not sure of what the paintings will look like yet... I really have to start sketching and making designs, but if any of you have ideas, PLEASE let me know! I would love your input in all of this.

ReChurch and the EarthQuake Response

Check out the ReChurch EQ Response video:


Support Christchurch EQ Relief from rechurch on Vimeo.

The End of The World

Unless you've been living in a hole for the past three weeks, you have obviously heard about the earth quake in ChristChurch, New Zealand as well as the 8.9 earth quake off the coast of Japan that caused a devastating Tsunami a couple of days ago.  With all the disasters that have been happening over the past few years, like other major earth quakes, rampant snow storms across the states, flooding, mudslides, tornadoes, etc, it's easy to think, "Alright, this is getting a little ridiculous, what's going on?"  More frequently though, we are thinking, "This all needs to stop."  Going even further, we might be wondering, "Is this the end of the world?"

At this point in our thinking, our worried minds can all too easily wander to popular culture and things we have heard through media about the end times.  2012, for example.  Heard of this?  Yeah, so according to the calculations of ancient calendars, the world is going to end in December 2012.  If it makes you feel any better, there are now caravans of people in the States going around saying, Wait! Hold Up! NO! The earth is NOT going to end in 2012, you silly people... it's going to end in May 2011! The Bible proves it!  Judgment day... bum bum bummmmmm.

Honestly, I would be lying if I were to say the idea about the world coming to an end soon hasn't crossed into my mind.  I mean, NZ gets hit with two major earthquakes in 6 months (OH, and by the way, another major quake is predicted to hit CHCH sometime between the 15-20th of March, supposedly... says the "Moon Man"), crazy weather has been going on in the states (also including earthquakes in states like Oklahoma), and now the Tsunami?!  What the heck?! I know weather is weather and the earth needs to do what it needs to do... but really?  All of this?  God, don't you think it's all a little too much?

It's easy to get caught up in what is going on around you.  It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that the world is coming to an end.  It could be really easy to become bitter toward God for "making all these things happen."  It's easy to be anxious and nervous ALL OF THE TIME (like carrying an emergency pack with you every where you go... not like I have done this or anything... **cough cough**).  But then I have to stop myself and rethink.  Are all these disasters really God's judgment?  Is this God's plan for the world?  Is this God's desire? As a Christian, instead of listening and soaking up all the information the media and culture is throwing at me, I need to look at the Bible.  If I truly believe in a good, loving, just, compassionate, merciful, and powerful God, then His word will provide revelations and answers.

Matthew 24:6-7; 27-28; 36; 42-44  
 And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars; see that you are not alarmed; for this must take place, but the end is not yet.  For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes (whoaaaaaa!!!!!) in various places; all this but the beginning of birth pains. / For as the lightning comes from the east and flashes as far as the west so will be the coming of the Son of Man. Wherever the corpse is, there the vultures will gather. / But about that day and hour no one knows, neither the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. / Keep awake therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. But understand this: if the owner of a house had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have stayed awake and would not have let his house be broken into. Therefore you also must be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an unexpected hour.

Wars? Check. Famine? Check. Earthquakes? Check.  But then there's the kicker... "Beginning of birth pains".  Is the end of the world approaching? Well, DUH.  I mean, think about it, one day, the world WILL end.  But the Bible says that these signs we are seeing now are just the beginning of birth pains.  In pregnancy language, a lady having the baby doesn't even need to be at the hospital yet! She's got some time till the baby is going to be birthed!  However, there will be an end.  Like the last part of the scripture says though, we do not know when that end is coming.  He will be like a thief in the night.  We might not know when the end is coming, but when He does come back to restore His Kingdom, I have no doubt in my mind that everyone will know it is the end of the world.  Also, I think that since there is still confusion as to whether or not this is the end for certain, tells you that it ISN'T yet.  Like I said, I really don't think that anyone is going to be confused when the end is here.  We will definitely know it.  So yes, the end of the world is approaching - BUT NO ONE KNOWS WHEN.  I mean, I trust Jesus a lot, so if he says no one knows except for God the Father, not even him, then I am betting no one else knows. So for all you people around the world predicting the exact date of the end times, you are basically saying that you are smarter than angels and Jesus himself... now that's bold!  So now that we know that the end is approaching EVENTUALLY, what do we do next?  Be ready.  Now, that doesn't mean carrying around an emergency pack everywhere you go (I have a lesson to learn from THAT one), but really making sure that I am faithfully following the Lord that I love and trust in - giving him the glory.  I need to be loving others.  I need to be selfless.  I need to forgive and ask for forgiveness.  I need to be generous.  I need to be self-sacrificial for others.  I need to be praying and spending time with my Creator. 

What's the promise God most frequently makes with his creation?  That he will NEVER leave us.  No matter how many people might blame him for giving us earthquakes and tsunamis and killing their loved ones (which I do NOT believe he did as a form of punishment/wake-up call for us), God does NOT leave us.  God still loves us passionately... we are his BELOVED.  His creation with whom he LONGS a relationship with.  His heart breaks when there is pain and suffering.  He is with us during the pain.

Earthquakes have the power to separate us from the roads, our houses, our jobs, our friends, our family, and even life on this earth... but they do NOT have the power to separate us from the love of God.  I think that's just incredible.

Honestly, this might be the end of the world.  Only God knows.  But I have no fear in it.  There will be more earthquakes and more pain and destruction... and because of it all, it makes the mere thought about spending eternity with God in Heaven that much sweeter.  Live for him and have no fear.

A Week of Relief

Sorry I haven't posted much the past week and a half.  It's been super crazy and hectic with relief efforts and the work we've been doing around ChristChurch, but I will try and update you on what we've been up to:

I returned to CHCH last Sunday and have been staying with the ReChurch pastor, Hamish, and his family since Yo, Neil and Ethan stayed in Queenstown after the family camp weekend.  Starting Monday through Saturday, I woke up at 6:30am so we could leave the house by 7 and get to the University of Canterbury campus by 8.  At that time, ReChurch staff and other volunteers (some students, some from just around the city, and some from Dunedin) would set up and start making sandwiches.  Our sandwich assembly line produced anywhere from 200 - 1,200 sandwiches each day, depending on the need.  The first couple of days, we were making food for the student volunteer army, a group of students and younger people that would go out into the city and shovel silt/liquefaction in the streets.  There were anywhere between 400-1000 students that were helping out each day.  After we were done making food for the army, we would make extra sandwiches to distribute out into the city.  

Our attention for food distribution was focused on Aranui, a lower SES area that was hit SUPER hard by the earthquake.  I was blown away by the destruction in this area of the city.  When we first arrived, it had been almost a week since the earthquake and there were still people who hadn't left their houses since the quake.  There were still people that were injured from the quake just sitting and waiting for help.  There were people who hadn't really eaten since that day, either.  Almost everyone in this suburb didn't have power or water.  This did not look like a first-world country to me.  With the dust and sewage that stretched across the town, I could not help but weep.  Literally.  I cried. A lot.  Probably didn't help I was overly emotional from the whole experience anyways.

Since last Monday, we have gone back to Aranui every afternoon to deliver food (now hot meals at nights, which have been kindly donated by the salvation army) and to just talk to people in their homes.  We started out door knocking, going to every house and making sure people were okay.  Taking notes and mental observations of the areas... basically just trying to give them as much as we could and trying to plan on phase two of relief beyond power, water, and food as well.  The second half of the week, we still door-knocked, but we also had a van full of food packages in a van that we left at the local park.  From there, people could walk up and just collect food parcels.  After a few short hours, the van would be scrap empty.  Now, after a week and a half, we have more pin-pointed notes on who we still deliver food to.  Since most power came back to most people a couple of days ago, people are able to cook and boil their own water.  However, there are still 80 people we are bringing food to every night.

I have met some incredible people.  It's amazing how close communities and people get when disasters happen.  Multiple families living in one location (one house had 30 people living in it) but never once complained about what they did not have, young people so willing to help distribute and guide us to other houses that needed supplies, Lorna (the "Queen" of Aranui) who had the biggest heart of anyone I have met in NZ thus far, Katrina - a young mom that was helping her elderly mother AND delivering food with us, Kelvin - a chef from Lake Tekapo, NZ who came up for a week to help us properly  prepare and package food, Kevin and Richard - Two baptist pastors that run a youth center in Aranui and were letting us use their facility to distribute food, some loving elderly couples that gave US food and lemonade (Sprite, to all you Americans) as we were walking around, Michelle - a young university student that lost her two jobs due to the quake and yet still dedicated all her time to organize the two weeks of food distribution, and several other individuals and families that were so friendly and so encouraging and grateful this week.  Most people, more than food and water, just wanted to talk and have a friendly conversation.  So many people hadn't left their houses, they just wanted to tell their stories to someone... and honestly, I was HONORED to listen to them.  These people that have been virtually ignored by the government and council were more loving and supportive and faithful than a lot of people I had met in the aftermaths of the quake.

My heart is still super heavy.  I still have nightmares at night and worry every time I feel an aftershock.  I am finally sleeping through the night, but not before an hour of anxiety hits me as I lay in bed.  However, I cannot deny or forget the ways I have seen God at work in New Zealand.  He is softening hearts more than hardening them.  He is opening doors for communication and for genuine, honest relationships.  He is continually making me more compassionate.  He is teaching me how to be more of a leader.  Yesterday, I had to lead food distribution on my own, and it went so well... better than I anticipated.  He is working so much in me and giving me more confidence that I am here in New Zealand to see more of HIS loving nature because of the love of others toward me and the outpouring to the community.  He is opening doors for me to freely talk about the church and the faithfulness of the Lord.  This was definitely not how I pictured my internship, but I am so thankful that God's plans always triumph over mine.

For six weeks, ReChurch's sermon series is called "The Remedy".  We are using this David Crowder song as the theme.   Last week was the first week and it went so well.  There were a lot more people there than we predicted there to be, and everyone seemed to be so on board and so encouraged, which was incredible to see.  Our venue is destroyed (the movie theater) so we met in a tent behind the ReChurch office... which still needs to be examined by EQC (Earth Quake Commission).  As of now, we are going to be meeting in a pub on the other end of town, but pray that ReChurch can find another meeting place for the future.



Pray for Neil and Yo - Although their house is liveable for now, it will eventually need to be torn down and rebuilt because of foundational cracks.

Sorry, this post was really erratic and all over the place... I don't even know if I included everything I wanted to, but I guess it is kind of a reflection of how I feel at the moment.  Thanks for sticking with me, praying for me, and most importantly, praying and thinking about CHCH during this time.  I can't express my thanks to those who have sent me messages and emails and all the support I am receiving.  Love you all.  I promise I will try to be better at updating now that relief is slowing down a little!

" I will give you this, my love, and I will not bargain or barter any longer. I will love you, as sure as He has loved me. I will discover what I can discover and though you remain a mystery, save God's own knowledge, what I disclose of you I will keep in the warmest chamber of my heart, the very chamber where God has stowed Himself in me. And I will do this to my death, and to death it may bring me. I will love you like God, because of God, mighted by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love, demanding you love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow I will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before I am ended at this altar of dying and dying again. God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us."

 [[ DONALD MILLER ]]

Earthquake

By now, most of you know that one week ago, there was a 6.3 magnitude earthquake in ChristChurch, New Zealand, where I am currently living.  A lot of people have been asking me for the story, if I did or did not feel it, and how I am coping... So here it is:

  Back in September, there was a 7.1 earthquake in ChristChurch, but the damage done then is NOTHING compared to the damage done in the one that hit last week on the 22nd.  First of all, instead of being a deep quake, 15k below the earth's surface like the 7.1, this one was much shallower, only 5k, making the quake unbelievably strong, powerful, and destructive.  After talking to numerous people the day of, every single person said this quake was stronger and much more damaging than the one almost 6 months ago. What also made this quake so bad was the fact that it was in the middle of the day, whereas the earthquake on the 4th of September was at 4:30 in the morning.  This time around, people were driving in their cars, they were going out to lunch in the city centre, people were at work, etc... as of right now, almost 150 are counted dead and the numbers are quickly rising as they find more bodies in the rubble.

Just to let you all know, I was okay during it all.  But I am not going to lie or sugar coat it, my family and I were VERY lucky.  The morning started off like any other Tuesday morning... woke up, ate breakfast, and went to the children's music that I help lead... after this, my host family (Yolande, Neil, and Ethan), picked me up to take me downtown to one of their favorite dessert bars, a restaurant called Strawberry Fare - this is basically right in the centre of the city.  Since it was my birthday, they wanted to do something nice... which it was!  We ate some incredible food and I just enjoyed sitting and chatting with them.  Neil and Ethan decided to go to the bathroom before we left... and a couple minutes later, it hit.

The earthquake was unlike anything I have EVER felt before.  I stood there frozen for a couple seconds as I heard a couple panicked noises and saw the chandeliers shaking a little... and then the quake got worse very very quickly.  Yo grabbed my arm and forced me underneath the table... but not
before a water glass hit me square in the head and dumped all over me. For the next 30 seconds, all I heard were shatters, crashing, and screaming.  I had my eyes clenched so tight, just wanting it to all be over.  I opened my eyes after it stopped, and all I could see was dust, glass, and rubbish all over the floors. Yo handed me all her bags and told me to go outside while she looked for Ethan and Neil near the toilets.  I got out from underneath the table, and everything in the restaurant was broken and dust and debris everywhere.  As we tried to leave the restaurant, we saw the door was blocked by debris and stones and bricks.  We couldn't get the door open.  Then all of a sudden, we heard, "Open the door!  There is a gas leak in here!"  Adrenaline obviously pumping through the veins of the man in front of me because he just shoved that door as hard as be could, got in opened, and started moving the stones around so everyone else could get out.  We escaped through the rubble and got
out onto the street.  I could smell the gas... but the really amazing thing?  As I looked back at the restaurant, both buildings on either side of the restaurant had COMPLETELY fallen down and crashed into rubble.  The restaurant we were in? Still standing.

I found my host family again as soon as I could.  We had to stand on the side of the road for what seemed like hours, and then soon again shifted and moved around because of the gas leak.  Yo was my hero at this point - we parked right outside the restaurant and she really wanted to get us home... thank goodness nothing happened to the car. When she tried to get into the car to bring it to us, several men stopped her and told her she was endangering her life and that she shouldn't get in it with all the aftershocks happening at this point. She moved them out of the way and told them her family was more important and she needed to get to us.  While we were waiting for her, an aftershock earthquake hit us.. a 5.7... and it almost knocked me to the footpath.

Yo picked us up around the corner and spent the next hour trying to get back home... 7 miles away.  Streets were flooded with water and people.  Roads completely split open and man holes lifted above the ground.  Also?  Our car was running completely empty of petrol (gas). We thought on numerous occasions that we were going to have to hitchhike a ride home or walk because the car would literally start stalling.  Miraculously, by God's grace, we got home.

There is a significant amount of damage done to their house... their entire lawn is destroyed and you can see cracks in the walls and in the ceiling.  They are also worried that their foundation was broken
(nothing this severe happened in Sept.).  Also, it took us a long time to even get INTO the house.  See, all their doors were locked, and when the earthquake happened, every door jammed and moved so all the doors were literally jammed shut.  However, thanks to me being super irresponsible, I left my bedroom window unlocked and we were able to crawl through and get one side door open.  For the most part, everything is okay except for some of their China and glass goods... except now their house will probably forever reak of vinegar because of all the bottles that broke.

We spent the next 3-4 hours making sure everything was decently safe, cleaning up the kitchen (where most of the mess was), facing 20-25 aftershock earthquakes, and talking to neighbors and friends.  Power is out, water is out, gas is shut off.  I have barely even had service on my cell phone.

My host family and I left ChristChurch that evening and headed to Orao, a small town just south of Kaikoura, where Yo's dad lives.  We spent Wednesday and half of Thursday here - We just needed
time away to recooperate and get sleep, which would have been impossible to get if there were afterschock earthquakes every hour.  We spent some of our time out looking around town, but the other times we were at the house were spent watching the news, mostly.  Hearing devastating death toll numbers, the eagerness of some of the community workers, the plans of the politicians for the future of the city, and just watching horrific images scan across the TV screen with survival testimonies to match.  Honestly, I was getting sick of hearing about it.  It was a bittersweet feeling - I was glad to miss all the aftershocks, but a big part of me wanted to be in the city helping friends and neighbors.

We drove back to ChristChurch Thursday afternoon and repacked for our planned weekend and week in Queenstown.  [[A couple weeks ago, my host family planned on staying in Queenstown/Arrowtown for holiday after a family church camp weekend in Queenstown.  We had a lot of touristy things planned, and although I was still looking forward to it after the earthquake, part of me felt so unsettled about taking a holiday when there is such a need for workers to help with the aftermath of the quake.]]  We got power back on in the house by the time we got back (but still no water), so we vacuumed a little, starting taking pictures of the damages, and got our things to leave.  That night, we drove to Rolleston, outside ChristChurch, and stayed with Yo's cousin.  I slept alone out in a sleepaway shed.  After a hot shower I laid in bed... and cried my eyes out.  At this point, the adrenaline had run out, and I was just so broken-hearted and scared.  Since this night, I wake up every couple of hours just because I feel like I am in an earthquake.  Every rumble and jolt makes my heart race now.

Friday morning, we drove to Queenstown.  I told myself I was going to be happy and have a good attitude about going on holiday, even if I did feel a unsettled about that decision.  Over the whole weekend, ChristChurch was still majorly on my heart.  Camp was really good - I got to meet a ton of really friendly people from all over NZ and America and just got to join people in genuine fellowship.  I loved talking with some of the younger people who went to the camp (Holler at my cabin roomies!!!!!) , SO relieved to see some of the ReChurch staff there (finally), and got to have water (that we didn't have to boil!) and good hot food.  I spent a lot of time reading and praying and just trying to refocus my attention on the Lord.  Over and over again though, I found my heart drifting back to ChristChurch.  I tried so hard to resist the shock and to stop thinking about it all and to just be happy to be well! 

Saturday evening, Hamish called me.  He asked me how I was feeling and if I was excited about the week of holiday in Queenstown.  After a little talking, I finally broke down and told him how awful I felt.  How as much as I was looking forward to time away and to do fun touristy things, my heart was so so heavy.  I couldn't justify a vacation when there were people in ChristChurch that needed help.  He then told me that his intention for the phone call was to ask me to return but didn't want me to feel pressured to come back if I really wanted to be away.  After talking for awhile, both of us felt better about the situation and we decided the best thing for the team and for me would be my return.

As great as a weekend in beautiful Queenstown would have been, this was SO important.  I know that out of disaster, God reveals his beauty and goodness.  He tells us to persevere.  He tells us to stay strong and faithful... that we will grow in wisdom and hope.  I know that I am in New Zealand for THIS purpose, now.  I, a broken woman, am going to reach out and do my best to love other broken men and women.  What a perfect opportunity for ministry.  Pray that the ReChurch team would be effective carriers of the Gospel, giving God every inch of the glory, while also loving people with every fiber of our beings.  Pray for hearts and minds to be healed during this tragic time.