You are WRONG, Richard Sanderson! WRONG!

Has anyone seen the movie, La Boum? It's a really old (and really awful) French movie that I was forced to watch during my high school years in French class with Mr. Neumark.  Well, the theme song of the movie is called "Dreams Are My Reality" by this Richard Sanderson guy.  Are dreams really my reality, Rich? Are they? Well, if they are, then my reality and my life is so beyond twisted...

I normally don't remember my dreams. I have the occasional reoccurring dream, but I seldom recall dreams vividly once I wake up.  Well, the past four nights have been exceptions to this past trend of not remembering my "realities."  Here are the past four dreams I have had over the past four nights... Let me know your thoughts... because honestly, especially based on these dreams, my thoughts are not really reliable at the current moment...

Dream One:  I am sitting in my loft, on my couch, and my doorbell rings (I don't even HAVE a doorbell at my apartment...).  I open the door, and standing right in front of me is Leonardo DiCaprio (Ooh, baby), Johnny Depp, and Quentin Tarantino.  We greet each other as if we had been friends for years.  We sit down at the dining room table and make small talk about my home decorating abilities.  I distinctly remember Johnny saying, "Wow, your color schemes are so vibrant!" Well, after this, I serve them dinner.  While eating dinner, we talk about art, their new movies coming out, wine, literature, and then they ask me to write down the dinner recipe.  We just chill out for awhile, say goodbye, and they leave.  So, I had a nonchalant dinner with three amazingly talented celebrities... no big deal.  But this is definitely not a reality, because honestly, if Leo really showed up at my door, I wouldn't have just given him a friendly greeting. I would have proposed and he would have needed a restraining order against me. Just kidding... no, but really.

Dream Two: I was at some mega church, standing in the atrium, crying. No, more like wailing.  I was crying because I was the only person out of all my friends who wasn't married or in a serious relationship.  Well, after the tears stopped streaming down my face, I walked into the church sanctuary, where, of course, a friend was getting married.  I sat down next to one of my guy friends (I am not going to reveal who this is for the sake of saving great embarrassment on both of our parts) at the wedding and I pulled out a gigantic cosmetic case and starting to reapply my makeup in the middle of the wedding.  Like, this cosmetic case was the size of a dufflebag and I even brought a huge light up mirror I could use.  But anyways, I was putting on purple false eyelashes to match my dress (EW), and my guy friend - We'll call him Brad- looked over and told me that my eyes were ridiculously puffy.  I started bawling again and my eylashes fell off.  Thanks, Brad.  He felt bad and asked what was wrong. I spilled my heart out to him... mind you that the wedding is STILL going on.  He felt really bad for me and told me that he was planning on proposing to his girlfriend at the reception, but how this whole thing with me was more important.  He proposed to me, right then and there. HUGE ROCK... but I basically got a pity proposal. So the next day, him and I got married.  But because we were friends, I refused to kiss him... so when the pastor said "You may kiss the bride", we pounded each other's fists... exploding knucks included. After this, we went on our honey moon... and naturally slept in separate rooms.  The next night, we went on a walk up and down these enormous sand dunes.  Brad reached the top of the biggest sand dune, but I was only half way up.  He pulled a rope out of his pant pocket and threw it to me so that he could pull me up.  When I almost reached the top, I felt a pull from behind me and started falling down the sand dune.  I looked at the bottom and there were five people dressed up in animal costumes (One as a dinosaur, one as a frog, one as a monkey, one as a tapir, and one as a sloth) pulling me down the sand dune with ropes.  I fell all the way to the bottom and they surrounded me.  End of dream.  Thanks for leaving me to fend for myself against the creepy animal people, Brad.

Dream Three:  I was in the middle of the woods at some random campsite with a bunch of friends from high school.  I am pacing around the woods, freaking out.  I am sweating profusely and every limb in my body was shaking.  I look down at my stomach and realize that I am pregnant... VERY pregnant (this is obviously NOT a reality... don't freak out, parents!). I started thinking of ways I was going to tell my parents.  I just kept telling myself, "I don't know, it just happened!" over and over and over again.  I was annoying myself.  My friends kept telling me, "Beth, it's really not a big deal... so what? You're pregnant. Get over it." I got super mad, punched a tree, and broke it in half (OBVIOUSLY this is not reality either... because everyone knows my lack of upper body strength).  The funny thing was, after I did this, I kept thinking of all the things I might get kicked out of BECAUSE I was pregnant.  I kept worrying about how my parents and sisters were going to kick me out of the family.  I also worried about how I would have to stay in school even longer because the baby was due during my student teaching time and, as a student teacher, I wouldn't receive maternity leave, therefore postponing the expected student teaching date.  I also remember spazing about being kicked out of youth group.  I had a vision of Alex Hall (the youth pastor at Stonebridge) coming up to me shaking his finger, telling me I was the worst example of a Christian woman because I was pregnant out of wedlock, and banning me from both D-group and youth group.  After my nervous breakdown, my belly grew bigger.  I went inside our cabin and my friend Katie Rose helped me look up "Baby Transplants" on the internet.  Apparently, I wanted to see if someone else would want my baby and I could just surgically remove him/her from my uterus and give it to the desperate woman... and that... doesn't work... End of dream.

Dream Four:  I am walking around Creighton's campus, and of course, there is construction.  I look down the street and see construction workers starting to build a new building.  I walk toward them, watching them lay bricks by hand.  I look at them, and very judgmentally tell them that they suck at building.  They all looked at me, all 20 of them, and started swearing at me.  I was by no means offended.  I told them that I could build the new building better than them.  They all laughed at me and kept on building.  I asked them if they wanted to bet on it, and they all said yes.  So, here was the bet:  Whoever could build a better building in 24 hours would win $1,000,000 dollars AND a trophy.  It was me versus 20 trained construction workers.  Well, we tell the school newspaper about this little competition and the entire school comes to watch.  So, both sides have all the necessary materials and Billy the BlueJay, our school mascot, blows an air horn and tells us to start.  We start building like mad people.  I, naturally, finish the entire building, inside and out, in 17 hours.  The construction workers didn't even finish the outside in that amount of time.  And not to brag or anything, but my building was gorgeous and theirs was u-g-l-y.  I won the million dollars AND got a gigantic trophy.  I put it on display in my apartment above my kitchen cabinets.  They even dedicated the building to me... BUT they didn't name it after me, so I was a little upset about that.  But, I was promised that the next building the University was planning on putting up WOULD be named after me.  I was ecstatic until I later found out that the next building they were planning on building was a new dining hall... how fitting... is that a fat joke!? The strange thing is, I don't know what happened to the building that the construction workers built.  After the dedication service for the one I built, theirs just wasn't there... MAGIC.

... So, those were my dreams... I don't know what is going on in my head before I fall asleep each night, but I can say that I certainly hope that dreams are NOT my reality.  You better be wrong, Richard Sanderson.