Getting A Wee Bit Old

These earthquakes... not gonna lie... I'm pretty over them.  The whole boiling water, having an emergency pack by your bed at night, getting woken up way too often, feeling dusty and dirty every time I go outside, and not being able to just take a bus with a normal schedule thing is getting a wee bit old.

As some of you probably know, last Monday, there were two more big shakes here in Christchurch.  The first one, a 5.5 magnitude, was at 1 pm and the second, a 6.3 magnitude (same as the February quake) was at 2:20 pm.  I was actually gone on holiday for both, which is such a bittersweet thing.  I know, silly, right?

SWEET because I didn't have to feel the big shakes... which are SO frightening.  This eliminated my personal anxiety and all the flashbacks I have to the February 22nd quake. 

BITTER because I still am impacted and influenced by the effects.  Beyond the physical implications of earthquake damage, it's just SO emotionally draining.  I hate having to watch people NOT handle the shakes well.  All I can do is listen and be present... and that's good and all... but I can only do so much.  I really have to leave it completely up to the Lord and trust that he is going to take care of His beloved's in every case/situation - emotionally and physically.  I hate being witness to a city so devastated by things completely out of their control.  I am trying to remain positive and light-hearted as the most positive people in my immediate environment struggle with what to do next...

Should we move?  

What about my family? 

I just can't handle it anymore. 

I am fearing for my life. 

The biggest thing I fear though is the liklihood of another big earthquake hitting Christchurch when I am not here.  At least if I were in CHCH I could be of assistance and help with relief work (which we are doing right now after these other quakes).  Once I am back in the States though, the opportunities to come back will be limited.  My heart will be broken because I can't be next to my loved ones here... knowing how much they are struggling and I can't be with them to share in both pain and hope for a restored city.  I will have to offer as much of myself as possible from a distance... which I hate thinking about.

I know... being of assistance from afar is better than not helping at all... but CHCH is my second home.  These are my family members.  Just.... struggling I guess.

Pray for the continued restoration of the city. Yes, it is in pretty horrendous physical condition, but I ask you to focus your prayers on the people of this city.  That hope is not abandoned.  That believers, guided completely by the power of the Holy Spirit, can be a light.  That ReChurch can continue to offer the support that people in the city need.  Pray that HEARTS are enriched by scriptures and trusting in how faithful the Lord is.  Pray that people find positive ways to relate to every situation.  Pray that families are united and not emotionally broken.  Pray that people would leave selfishness behind and aid their neighbors in any ways possible.

Thank you to everyone being such an encouragement and prayer partner to me as I have embarked on this adventure through "Quake City."