The Augustinian Mantra

As I have stated on numerous occasions, I am really excited about this school year. It is bittersweet, but nonetheless, I hope I am open to see where God takes me, to learn what He is trying to teach me, and to live in a way that glorifies His Kingdom.  

At church on Sunday, I heard a new little quote from one of my personal favorite philosophical theologians, St. Augustine.  He said, "Love God and do what you want."

Love God and do what I want? AWESOME!!!! YEAH. I mean, I love God. So I can go out, get plastered, get in fights, not care about anything, date whoever I want, be rude, spend all my money on clothes, and just have fun! (Okay, this was NOT me being serious if you couldn't catch on.  I am ridiculously sarcastic sometimes, so just bear with me.) Unfortunately, this is the way Christians think sometimes.  They think a belief in God, a surface level "love" for God is sufficient for a "get into Heaven free" card.  Even within my own heart I have faced apathy and feelings of, "well, I already accepted Jesus into my heart and got baptized, so I am all good."  God has been steadily humbling my heart, especially over the past few months.  The Gospel is NOT about me. It's not about any of us.  It's always been and always will be about HIM.  

One of my favorite Underoath songs, A Love So Pure, says,

Always did it my way on my own then one day I realized

I was blind, nothing I could do on my own

Turn, we have found a way to see, look up... feel the Almighty

Take control as we gaze into your eyes

We're just the tool you use to bring this world to you

Oh, Lord, how we love you

With your grace, take away the hurt and the bruises inside,

reach down let your glory reside

The cross carried for all of us, paint the image in my mind

So I will never think I am something,

but nothing am I but you, you are something

Lord you keep me alive, you give me rest at night

When there seems no way to find calmness in the storm you come and

take me in your arms and then the waves drown me no more

With you I'll last this battle and many others

Through the ages your name will reign forever... never to be replaced

In these trials I face, I pray you humble me

Humble me I want to be like you Jesus more and more like you

I was crucified on that day with Christ

Nailing you there with sin, accepting you

I nailed my soul to the cross and now my life begins

 This world so cold but your love keeps me warm

My father holds me in his nailed scarred hands which I put there

But for some reason he still loves me with all his heart

Even through I betray him constantly

He always keeps his arms open waiting, till I give up my old ways

God my father, you are the only one that can give me comfort

You touch my heart in such a way that all I can do is cry your name

Jesus Christ I love you

My heart aches for your love

Being a Christian is hard. Really hard.  It's not easy to truly love God all the time.  It's not easy being humbled causing us to recognize our inability to be perfect.  It's not fun being reminded of how unloving we are most of the time.  But this year, my goal is to "Love God and do what I want." Thanks Augustine.  I know he isn't saying that I can do WHATEVER I want, like drink mercilessly or sleep around.  But I know he is saying that once we, as Christians, love God intimately and purely, putting Him above all else and seeing Him in the light He deserves, our actions will fall in place. When we love God in this sense, everything we do will be in honor of the Kingdom.  Our hobbies, our relationships, our words, and our day to day actions will be honoring of the LORD.  When we "love God and do what we want", what we want to do is live the Gospel.  

This is my goal.  This is the mantra I am going to assign to my D-group starting up on Sunday. I want those girls to understand that you cannot compartmentalize God.  You can't tell Him to be in the spiritual parts of your life, like church and youth group, and then not to be in the "non-spiritual" parts like school and friends and relationships.  EVERYTHING is spiritual... whether we like it or not.  He is ever present.  I want them to truly understand that everything we do is for Him... it's just a matter of whether we love him and live in ways that honor Him or whether we still rely on ourselves.  This will be a challenging year for me as well.  I need to be active with this goal... I can't just say it, but I as well need to truly live it. 

... Here we go!