Ethan Says the Darndest Things.

When I was doing my student teaching, I was so good about recording all the hilarious things that my students did.  Now that I am away from the classroom, I may not have heaps of stories about my students (even though I have a couple funny ones from Sunday school)... BUT I DO live with a three year old, so that makes up for it...

Introducing, 'Ethan Says (And Does) the Darndest Things':

• At breakfast one morning, Ethan just looks and me and says with a straight face, "Muggle."
• "Beth, you're so silly!" He pretty much says this to me when I am acting 100% normal... for example: when I am just sitting, when I am reading, when I am doing the dishes, when I am making a cup of tea, etc.  He never actually tells this to me when I am actually being silly or goofy.
• "I am going to see my mum, because she's a lovely girl..." "Oh, you think your mum's a lovely girl?" "Yes, because she has breasts and wears lots of skirts..."
• "Do you know what I do before I go to bed? I jump on my bed.  I jump up and see God."
• Even though Ethan is toilet trained, you still definitely have to watch him when he goes to the bathroom, because he'll unroll an entire roll of toilet paper and put it in the toilet.  I think he's gone through about 15 rolls because of this issue alone.
• "I want to pray for Jesus and for tele (television)..."
• My mom sent Ethan a package of play-doh in the mail... when I gave it to him and after he opened it, he screamed his head off yelling, "I love Beth's Mum! AHHHHH!"
• When I walked out of my room wearing a dress, "Wow, you look really pretty!" So cute... he better keep this up when he's older!
• "What are you doing?" His go-to question for EVERYTHING.  And he won't just ask once, he asks it at least 3 times in a row.  I guess he just wants to make sure he's included in everything.
• I was trying to teach him how to play soccer, but he would just chase after the ball, pick it up, and run around holding it above his head.
• Ethan and I play with play-doh a lot when I get home from work early in the afternoons.  He'll often look at my little sculptures and ask what they are.  After I tell him, most of the time he scrunches up his face and says, "Uh... it looks weird."
• "Beth? Hold my hand please. God wants you to."
• He loves seeing pictures of himself, so whenever I take a picture of him with my camera, he quickly says, "Can I see Ethan?"
• One time, he farted super loud at the dinner table, turned and looked at me and said, "Beth!"  How is he already learning how to blame farts on other people?!
• "Are you going to eat your vegetables all up, Beth? You will grow up big and strong."  Sometimes I don't think he realizes that I am a full-grown adult who hasn't grown an inch since I was 15.
• He's walked in on me three times changing and/or showering.  I have tried explaining to him that when the door is closed, he should knock and wait till I say, "come in"... hasn't worked yet.
• "DUDE.  My tummy wants some pancakes... PANCAKES!"
• I was wearing a V-neck t-shirt the other day and I was helping Ethan change into his jim jams (pajamas).  I was leaning over trying to help him get his feet in and he literally stuck his hand down my shirt and said, "You have breasts like mummy!"
• One day, I walked out of my room and he was just standing outside my door... but then I looked down and saw that he was wearing my shoes.  I laughed and asked him what he was doing with my shoes on.  He said, "I'm being Beth!" and proceeded to strut out into the lounge.  
• When we were at a park, he would only eat his lunch if we pretended he was an animal... so naturally, we fed him out of the palms of our hands.  Cool kid.

I am sure there have been a lot more moments of Ethan silliness, but that's all I can remember right now.  I love living with little kids... it makes me feel a lot better knowing that there are people out there who have worse mouth-brain filters than me... even if they are twenty years younger...