Reminder.

I'm a really forgetful person. I'm the type of woman that puts her glasses on and five minutes later spends 15 minutes looking for them. The type of woman who walks into a room and forgets why she went there in the first place. Forgetting to write thank you notes or sending out birthday cards. Forgetting to call people back or forgetting to give back something I borrowed. I need to do more sudoku or something to exercise my brain so I'm not a vegetable when I'm 70.

Not only am I forgetful with the little things, but I tend to be forget with the bigger things too. I frequently forget how blessed I truly am. How fortunate I am to have the family and friends that I do. Being blessed with an amazing education at an awesome school and having the support of so many around me. Not always acknowledging how great the church I attend is or how awesome the students in the youth group are. Forgetting how much God actually loves me and how He is truly pursuing me at all times. It's easy for us to weaken our faith. God is always good and always loving and always gracious, but it's so easy to believe the lies that tell us we are not good enough, that we can't do much good for the kingdom, that we are giftless and have nothing to offer, that we cannot be redeemed from our sins. That we will fail and be left rejected by everyone.

Last week, I attended CIY:Move, a Christian conference in Missouri geared for high school students. I was a leader/sponsor last year for CIY, and it was great. Loved every moment of it... but not gonna lie, this year DOMINATED last year. I have been helping out with the high school youth group at Stonebridge for almost two years (wow, time has just flown by) and this is by far the best experience I have had with that group of kids. Before the trip, I was kind of down. When working with youth and in ministry, sometimes it gets really easy to forget why you are there. I know I am there for the kids, but when small group lessons are not getting through to the students, when they all get snappy attitudes, when only 5 people show up for youth group, it is easy to question whether or not it's even worth it sometimes. I am for sure my worst critic... when I feel like I am strong at something and when it doesn't go the way I planned or isn't as good as I expected that something to be, I get pretty down on myself and frustrated. I question a lot and I tend to beat myself down. That's what I have been doing off and on for the past year in the youth group. I consider myself to be pretty good at relationships, especially with youth... building them and strengthening them. So, when no one would come to youth group or none of the students wanted to really talk to me, I took that so personally and wondered, "What am I doing wrong?" I doubted God's work in their hearts. HOW SELFISH OF ME? Well, before CIY, I wasn't that excited to go. I figured it would be fun, but I kind of pushed the possibilities of change, renewal, grace, forgiveness, and love out the window.

But like I said, this year was INCREDIBLE. God over and over and over again continued to reveal himself in the craziest of ways. Right from day one, my small group dug deep into the topic of truth and the students were talking, asking questions, and really trying to understand why Christians believe what they do. I have never seen such philosophical and theological questioning by these students ever before. From that first small group meeting to the last, our group grew pretty close. The students were so open and honest with one another, quick to encourage and give their own advice and wisdom, and the Gospel really seemed to sink in. They truly were pursuing the message and eager to grow, change, and learn. This was a very encouraging reminder that high school students really DO want to know truth, experience grace, be an influence, and endure through the challenges that being a Christian entails.

Youth group time was the same way. Even though day one was just goofy and kind of off topic, after that, our youth group time became pretty serious. Kids got more emotional than I have ever witnessed before. They built each other up in ways that I never thought I would see. They were learning from each evenings' service (speaker and worship included... which I was NEVER disappointed with... SO good!) and not hesitant to share what they were learning. It was SO obvious that God was in that place. That he was moving their hearts and breaking their walls down. As I watched each student become more vulnerable during the week, that broke my heart and I could not help but PRAISE the LORD. I was so filled with joy. Seeing students step up as leaders and as students decided to become workers for the kingdom. It was not only a reminder of how GREAT the youth group is and how thankful I am for being a part of it, but a greater reminder of how GREAT God is. How even though I forget His unwavering passion and love for us, He will prove himself present and sovereign. Even though I may get down when things don't always go the way I thought they might, that I should endure and continue, because if I am doing the work for HIS glory and not my own, then He will reveal Himself in HUGE ways. This crazy week was a very needed reminder of God's character... and I hope and pray that I don't ever forget it.