Recently, I've been having frequent discussions with friends about how busy I am. Talking about how I just feel like I haven't been taking advantage of my senior year of college the way I should be. I still should be studying and doing well in all my classes, of course, but I feel like I have put relationships on the back burner. I feel like I have not been focused enough on the people in my life and building up relationships with those I care most about. This is a major issue. I think part of me felt like, "Oh, well, I have a lot of good friends and they will understand if I can't always hang out." Or, "Well, it's okay because we are already good friends, nothing should change." If you subconsciously feel this way when you find little time to spend with loved ones, think again people. Think fast. Relationships are a two-way street. They require sacrifice, time, dedication, attention, compassion, honesty, and love. As much as I would love to say my relationships with all my friends and my family are better than they ever have been, I cannot. I know that I have not put in the time and effort that is so vital for relationships to grow and flourish. For this, I apologize to each and every one of you.
I am not perfect and I never will be. But, that doesn't mean that any of you deserve a position in my life that trails behind school, work, and activities. You are all more important than all those things. As much as I want a great GPA and to be involved and active on campus, I would rather leave college with all the memories of all the times I spent with my family and friends than a 4.0. I will want to remember all the stupid games we played, not the tests I failed OR aced. I will want to remember movie nights over the number of service hours I got. I will want to remember hugs over resumes. Relationships are the key to my insanity, so I don't know why I even thought it would be slightly okay to just step away from them for a bit.
I hope you all know how much I truly care about you and your place in my life. Each one of you are irreplaceable, in the world and in my heart (I know. CHEESY. But, 100% true!). You all have given me something that I will always cherish and remember. Thank you for being there for me when I have not always been there for you. Thank you for your compassionate and accepting hearts when I have expressed my feelings and apologies to you. I also want to offer a special "THANK YOU!!!!!!" to everyone who responded to my Senior Thesis questions/interview for my art gallery. Thank you for opening up to me and being honest. Thank you for taking it seriously. Thank you for being inspirational in all you do and say.
God has blessed me with amazing families. A real, biological family that accepts me for my craziness and is always there by my side. These are the incredible individuals who have literally seen me at my worst, yet have loved me deeper than I deserve. A sorority family: a lifelong sisterhood that lights up my life every single day. I truly identify myself as a part of Gamma Phi Beta and I am proud to say it. Thank you for your JOY. Not to mention, the Curtis family who is just remarkable in every way. My church family (and NCC family): Amazing men and women who I have only known for about a year but who have been there through the thick and the thin. They are there to help and encourage me to grow as a woman of Christ. I would not be the same without you. My Creighton Family: You. are. all. REMARKABLE. I have had some of the best moments of my life with you and I pray every single day that I will be able to share MANY more of those moments with you outside of college. Thank you for loving me for me and sharing in my bizarreness. Thank you for being the ones to be laugh WITH me instead of the ones laughing AT me. Most of all, I have a HEAVENLY FATHER who is responsible for everything. I am so lucky to have grown up in the faith. I have seen Him at work and without His love and power, I know I wouldn't be who I am today.
I tried my best to put all this into words, but it still feels insufficient.
I love you all.
1 comment:
boh bey beth! bi bove bou boo! bi'm blad be bare buper buper bood briends. bi'm bretty bure bi bowe bou ba bweet bixed bape, bo bon't bet be borget. boh beah, bone bore bime, bove bou! by bhe bay, bhe bavi bulla bout bout by by bink bis bawesome.
translation (to save you some time):
oh hey beth! i love you too! i'm glad we are super duper good friends. i'm pretty sure i owe you a sweet mixed tape so don't let me forget. oh yeah, one more time, love you! by the way, the bavi bulla shout out by my link is awesome.
:o)
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