Since I haven't really blogged in awhile, here is a little update on my life:
... With elementary, the art is more basic. You can't do extensive, intricate, or emotionally involved projects... simply because they cannot. They haven't developed enough to the point where they are searching for meaning and purpose in life... and they can't handle projects that last more than two or three days. With this though, they are the cutest things ever. They love you no matter what. They just love being with adults and are just eager to impress you with everything they do. Even if I snapped at someone, five minutes later, they would be giving me a hug. It was great. Emotionally, they made me feel appreciated and wanted and important.
... Middle school is a whole different story. They hate adults. They associate them with overbearing, intrusive, uncool parents or previous teachers they have had. It probably took about 5 weeks until most of my students finally warmed up to me. They hold grudges too... if you get on their case about them needing to turn in something, they just hate you. Yeah, it's really fun. This reality was really hard on me at first... I was so used to the elementary kids just loving me and giving me all this positive energy and I was sad to enter into a classroom that had such a negative spirit. With all my lessons and interactions with the students, I tried to make things fun, relatable, interesting, and positive. I memorized all their names in about 5 days (yeah, I took the attendance home with me... loserville) so that they knew I knew who they were and thought they were important. I tried being a little goofy so they wouldn't think I was this straight-laced lecturer or disciplinarian. I certainly had my times where I had to me serious and pretty intense, but in the long run, I am glad they did this. They tried running all over me... and it didn't work. Even though it took them awhile to get used to me as their teacher, I think they began to respect me once they saw how invested I really was. It was difficult not getting all the affirmation that I was getting at the elementary school, but I learned to appreciate education so much more. Not to mention, projects with these students were way cooler and more fun. It also meant a lot when my students told me they liked the projects.
I'll miss student teaching a lot. I'll miss my students a lot. It definitely prepared me for my own classroom and made me aware of what being an art teacher is really like.
Other than that, Creighton graduation was today. I didn't graduate; For those of you who don't know, I am getting my Bachelor of Fine Arts in Studio Art as well, so I will graduate with my two degrees in December. It was pretty surreal watching all my friends walk across that stage in the Quest Center. Part of me knew wanted to be with them so bad, but another part of me knew that it just wasn't my time.
Something I have been working on and praying a ton about is just being completely happy and having faith in exactly where I am at in my life. It might not always be the best time or I might not be doing what I want, but I know I am there because it is God's will. His plans are SO much greater than my own. I know this is what God has planned for me right now. Although I have all these selfish desires to graduate NOW, I know it's just not the right time, and surprisingly, I really at peace with this. I feel like my grasp on control and my grasp on running my life has been weakening more and more over the past couple months. I feel like I am finally letting God do the work... and I feel more exhilarated than ever. With everything going on, please continue to pray that I follow His Will and not my own. That I will be obedient and willing to go wherever he wants me to. That I would just praise Him for all the blessings and everything HE has done, so matter what is going on in my life.
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